The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort

Plusherpes,trichomoniasis,bacterial vaginosis,thrush,viralhepatitis,crabs,scabies, HIV of course, thehuman papilloma (wart) virus, andchlamydia. We now know that the wart virus triggers a majority of cases ofcervical cancer, while chlamydia can causeinfertility ( see resources ). For all these reasons, here are the guidelines.
    • Whatever your age, sex, or sexual experience, you could be at risk. Once it became apparent thatAIDS was not going to decimate the developed world (and despite the fact that it’s still decimating the developing world), there was an arrogant conviction that protection was optional. Wrong; each day over a million people worldwide catch an STD. Also wrong is that STDs are solely the problem of the young and sexually active, who are, in fact, often informed and careful; older lovers – freshly divorced and convinced that they and their cohort are safe – are often not.
    • Risk comes from exchange of body fluids, so think about saliva, blood, urine, and feces as well as semen and vaginal fluids. Penetration is key, but a scratch or bite that breaks the skin surface is also dangerous, as is oral sex. Yes, oral sex – it’s the risk factor that everyone ignores because licking your lover through a condom seems so prissy, butinfection is more than possible, and women are particularly at risk.
    • One’s main reassurances are the condom (male and female), thedam, and the medicalglove – used forintercourse, anal sex,sex toys, and oral sex. Let’s not pretend latex improves lovemaking; but sometimes you simply have to do what’s needed.
    • You probably know the drill, but let’s revise condom care: store away from sunlight; don’t keep past the sell-by date; use a new one for every intercourse; check for rips and tears; have the condom in place from the start to the end of sexual contact; if it splits, getemergency contraception. Above all, follow the World War II British army motto: “Put it on before you put it in.”
    • Thecondom test is a good way of knowing whether you have found a decent, sensible partner. If your newly found love won’t use protection, you are in bed with a witless, irresponsible, and uncaring person.
    • When your newly found love has become a long-standing and committed love, the way forward is for both of you to get tested before having unprotected sex, and then to stay faithful. Is it unromantic to suggest testing? Yes, but it’s also being realistic. Even if your partner has had only one other partner and that person has had only one other, and so on and on, you are still potentially linked with a host of unproven and unknown infections. If you love each other, testing is the best way of demonstrating that. If you don’t love each other, even less reason to take things on trust.
    • Withsex toys used by non-long-term partners, slip a condom over before use, and between uses clean with antibacterial wipes or the sort of cleaning pads sold for the purpose insex shops.
    • Check yourselves regularly for anything unusual – itching, rashes, lumps, warts, discharge, fever, swollen glands, abdominal discomfort, and bleeding or pain during sex, urination, or defecation.
    • Respond to symptoms by going for a checkup immediately.Sexualhealth clinic staff really have seen it all before. Most infections, if caught early, can be treated by antibiotics; the exceptions areherpes, some strains ofhepatitis, and theHIV virus, which are for life ( see resources ). If you have contracted anSTD, or have put yourself at risk of doing so, tell your current partner and seek clinical advice about whether you need to tell former ones.
    • Regular medical checkups are a good idea even if you are both faithful; some STDs can lie dormant. Plus, of course, you can never be entirely certain offidelity.

    1 To use a condom, carefully remove it from the foil packet and check it is the right way round, ready to roll down.

    2 Squeeze the end of the condom between forefinger and thumb