The Last Adventure of Constance Verity by A. Lee Martinez

them. A gargoyle ripped itself off a building and dive-bombed, a near miss. A lamppost tried to knock Connie off the hound. The street itself started tearing away under their feet.
    Their flight stopped at the warehouse they’d entered through. Giants, dragons, ogres, hundreds of pixies, and one very stern gnome barricaded the building. Connie and Tia jumped off the hound, encircled by an army.
    The many-headed dragon rose up behind Connie and howled. It snapped and snarled but didn’t attack.
    The gnome stepped forward and unfurled a scroll. “Constance Verity, you are charged with that most heinous of crimes, the embarrassment and diminishment of the great King Oberon. Surrender yourself to immediate pitting, and your companion shall be mercifully executed.”
    â€œYou have a plan,” said Tia. “Tell me you have a plan.”
    Connie held her knuckledusters for everyone to see. They crackled with raw power. The fae security forces gasped collectively. A dragon inhaled some of its own fire and started coughing clouds of smoke.
    â€œHere’s the situation,” said Connie. “You can either let us leave, or we can watch this city explode together.”

10
    T he gnome escorted Connie into the warehouse. They passed the dragon guardian, who grumbled at them.
    The wardrobe was opened for them.
    â€œAre you going to tell me not to come back?” asked Connie.
    â€œWould you listen?” asked the gnome. “All of us in the realms know we owe you a lot. King Oberon might be the life and breath of this land, but he’s a stuffy old bastard. Still, if we catch you without those iron scraps, we’ll have to take you in. You understand.”
    â€œI do.”
    â€œAs it is, I’m going to get chewed out for this one. I like you, and I like this city. And Oberon wouldn’t mind watching this city being obliterated if you were vaporized along with it. The only reason I’ll get away with it is because he’d rather see you pitted than destroyed. Now get out of here.” He smiled. “And don’t come back.”
    â€œYou got it.”
    Connie and Tia stepped through the wardrobe and back into the mortal world. The wardrobe doors slammed shut. Connie wrapped the chains around it, just in case the fae changed their mind.
    Tia picked up the knuckledusters. They’d stopped glowing but remained warm to the touch.
    â€œI can’t believe we made it out of there alive,” said Tia. “We’ve been in some tight spots before, but that was almost as bad as the time I was kidnapped by that swamp creature. I thought we’d had it for sure then.”
    â€œOh, yeah.” Connie smiled. “I’d forgotten about that.”
    â€œI wish I could.” The creature had courted her with piles of dead fish and possums and a screechy, warbling love song. The creature might have been a perfect gentleman, aside from the abduction, but she still shuddered, recollecting the stink of his lair.
    Connie said, “What’s funny is all the adventures start to blend together after a while. I remember the quiet times far more. Remember that time we went to that Italian restaurant and had that awesome cheesecake? That was amazing, and I don’t even like cheesecake.”
    Everyone measured their life by the memorable bits, and those bits weren’t the things they did every day. Connie’s fondest memories weren’t of last-minute escapes from crumbling temples or sword fights with cross-time pirates. Those were unremarkable events. But a quiet moment with her best friend, talking about nothing important over dessert, was a rarity to be treasured.
    Honestly, the cheesecake hadn’t been that good.
    It didn’t matter. It was the experience that counted.
    â€œWhere are we going now?” asked Tia.
    Connie removed the glass marble from her pocket and held it up to the light. “Looks like Florida.”
    She tossed the marble to