The Light of Day by Kristen Kehoe

daughter dance begins and I watch as Uncle Thomas takes Mia’s hand formally and begins to waltz her expertly across the floor.  Halfway through, Ryan bows to his mother lavishly before leading her onto the floor.  Soon, the rest of the wedding party is joining, another request of the bride and groom that was met with parental resistance at first.
    At his cue, Jake holds out his hand to me.  “It’s our turn, Blue, what do you say?”
    I nod, having known this moment was coming.  When we’re on the dance floor, I try to ignore the heat from his body, and his smell, as they wrap around me and draw me closer to him.  Something about Jake makes me want to lay my head on his shoulder and let him take the lead — or just take me, which is as dangerous an image as it is a delicious one.  Even when I was having sex I didn’t think about it this much.
    “So, have you thought about living with me yet?”
    For the last twenty-four hours straight .  “A little.”
    He smiles but lets my lie go.  “Come to any conclusions?”
    “That it’s the worst idea on the planet, not just because we hardly know each other, though that’s definitely one of the reasons.”
    “Worst idea on the planet? You’ve heard of our recent health care issues, right?”
    I glare at him.  “Then there’s that.  Can you take anything seriously?”
    “Maybe I would if you didn’t take everything so seriously.  Come on, Blue, lighten up.  I get that you’re hesitant because you have a hard time resisting me, but I promise to respect your boundaries while they’re there.”
    “You say that as if they’ll be disappearing.”
    “I said respect them, not give up getting around them.”
    My laughter escapes before I can contain it.  Dropping my head on his shoulder, I let it come because it feels right and denying the decision I’ve already made is pointless.  I feel good about the idea of living with Jake — though I know it’s bound to be a stupid choice.  Right now, the thought of going home alone isn’t appealing, but the thought of reclaiming my city and having Jake there to help, or at least distract me, is .
    “Is this your way of submitting?” he whispers in my ear and I shake my head, ignoring the shiver that races across my shoulders.
    “I’m never submissive.”  The words are out much like the laughter, without thought, but once they are, I admit that they feel natural.  This banter, this friendship, it feels natural, too.  Dangerous tomorrow? Who knows, but right now it’s enough to be pleased with what I feel like.  Almost like a blend of who I was with who I’ve become, the darkness shaved away to make room for the laughter.  I know that for some reason Jake’s an intricate part of that.  Why’s another question altogether, one I won’t be attempting to answer anytime soon.
    “Okay, Handsome Jake, pack your stuff.  I’m picking the apartment, so no complaints about rent and location.”
    “I want the master bedroom.”
    “Keep dreaming.”
    “In that case, I’ll share it with you, Cora, but you have to respect my boundaries.”
    I laugh again, and so does he.  The song changes and more people come on to the dance floor, but we don’t stop dancing, my hands around his neck and his on my hips.  For a long while we sway and we laugh, and inside I feel myself start to come alive again.

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Eleven
    Jake
    I arrive in Portland at rush hour and spend over an hour battling bridges that take me in the wrong direction and rain that continues to pour down and make everything more difficult to navigate.  Yogi is sprawled in the passenger seat next to me, his blanket beneath him, one eye open and on me.  He’s refusing to look at the scenery, and I can only imagine it’s because he’s mad about two days of travel and the dramatic climate change.
                  He might have started off as an abandoned cat, happy to just have a warm place and a full