The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant by John Warren, Libby Warren

falsehoods.
    Honesty is the best policy
    In general, the approach in seeking male submissives can be a bit more abrupt than that in seeking females. Speaking more plainly, what will scare the bejesus out of a novice female may be just right to attract a novice male. Of course, the perfect strategy is a matter of hot debate among those who use this approach. I have noticed that of my female dominant friends who run the worship-at-my-feet- while-I-whip-your-ass type of advertisement do tend to get more responses than their more sedate colleagues. However, they also tend to attract a greater percentage of mindfuckers and no-shows. All in all, it seems to even out in regard to the number of male submissives who actually appear.
    When writing my advertisements, I acted on the assumption that submissive women are not looking for someone who will declare dominance. Almost all men will loudly claim that they are dominant; most are wrong. In any case, the simple declaration of dominance is not enough to motivate most submissive women. They are not looking for declarations of brutality or strength. Almost anyone can swing a whip or a paddle. Nature has made most men stronger, at least in their torso and shoulders, than most women.
    What they are seeking is some evidence that the person behind the advertisement is trustworthy and sensitive to their needs. Writing an advertisement that reflects these qualities is much harder than simply announcing dominance. Rather than providing a set of catch phrases or sample advertisements that anyone could copy I suggest that you look deep inside yourself. If you still cannot convey the requisite sensitivity in words, you may not be ready to hang a riding crop from the left side of your belt.
    When you get a response to your advertisement, don’t be surprised if a submissive, particularly a female submissive, is forthright in demanding more information about you. After all, the submissive is the one who must feel secure in giving up freedom. There may be a few maniacal axe-wielding submissives around, but I haven’t heard of them. The Ted Bundys of the world have made submissives understandably nervous.
    The most extreme example of demanding information I ever encountered was M, a thirty-year-old female submissive, who was a top-level executive in a nationwide store chain. She began with a standardized, thirty-minute interview probing into details of the potential master’s experience and background. As she put it, “I look at it as if I were hiring a vice president. After all, I am going to have to put my safety into his hands. I want to know if he can handle it.” She went through more than fifty candidates before settling on one. They are quite happy together.
    Going from online to face-to-face
    One of the big questions on everyone’s mind when they think they have clicked with someone online is, “When should we meet?”
    As with so much in the Scene, there is no hard and fast rule. One big factor is the distance between the correspondents. Obviously, except for a wealthy, leisure-class minority, the cost, both in money and time lost from work, is a significant factor. It’s a lot easier to make a trip to the local mall food court than to schlep yourself across the continental US. It’s only human, and realistic, to have in the back of your mind, “What if she/he isn’t right for me?” Writing off a few gallons of gas is a lot easier than doing the same for a three- figure plane ticket.
    My personal advice is to meet as soon as both parties are comfortable that there’s a real possibility of something there. With a carefully planned, public meeting, the worst that can happen is you discover, “this ain’t gonna work.”
    A basic axiom of life is that until (and sometimes not even then) you meet someone face to face, you don’t know them. Just what should a dominant or submissive find out about a potential partner before making that big step? What you should know about another