The One - No one said it would be easy by J.F. Goldsmith

you’re using your hand or your mouth or even if you’re screwing. Lockjaw or RSI of the wrist as well as a sore Garden of Eden are most likely the result of sexual interaction with circumcised men.  
     
    Man may well argue that we ladies simply ought to put a bit more effort into our labors of love. However, according to my own experiences and, according to my field research, those of my female friends, the actual duration of a sexual encounter is entirely overrated. OK, it’s kind of naff if he comes in three minutes flat. But what’s much much worse is an endless marathon of banging and fiddling about with a zillion unnecessary changes of position. I, the woman, have to be able to concentrate on coming, and that’s damn near impossible if screwing turns into some kind of amateur acrobatics. Plus, after some ten minutes of in-and-out, it actually starts to get most unpleasant. I think one can and should just get down to it. After all, you wouldn’t dangle a nice slice of Sunday roast in front of your nose for twenty minutes before biting into it!
     
    For all those reasons, the circumcised willy is an acquired taste. Due to the missing little hat it is so desensitized that it’ll take forever to come. And, don’t forget that, if you do it by hand with a topless willy, you have to ensure there is sufficient moisture available, otherwise you’ll hurt him and / or the entire up-and-down rubbing action won’t work properly. And if you don’t have a tube of lubrication to hand, you have to use your own. And frankly, after a while, spitting into your own hands every five minutes kind of loses its appeal! With pointy-hat-penises on the other hand, those little skin hats act as a built-in lubricant and the whole thing works exceedingly well.
     
    A word or two about penis size…Despite all protestations to the contrary: yes, size matters. It matters a great deal, in fact! Just like gentlemen have varying preferences with regard to the size of female bosoms, we have such preferences regarding men’s privates. If anyone tells you different, they’re lying. The appeal of the big boobs on a Rubens woman is entirely different from the appeal of the small buds on a skinny fashion model. And just like there are those who adore Rubens women, there are also those who adore skinny models. Same with penises. A miniature penis has a completely different feel to it than a giant cucumber. And there are women who adore sweet little penises as well as those who adore the XXL-versions. And that’s why size matters. My own idea of perfection lies in the middle. Not too big and not too small, not too thin and not too thick. Unfortunately, I can’t manage with tiny little willies, they are just not sexy to me. Neither do I like huge penises, they just hurt instead of giving pleasure. Of course size isn’t everything. Most important is that man knows how to handle his thing. A guy with a tiny willy should just perfect his other qualities (lips, tongue, fingers, hands...) and a guy with a giant spear should learn to use it very gently indeed.

Number Five continued:
    So – for me, Number Five was a stroke of luck. Our love life was perfect and very harmonious. We were crazy in love and we made each other really happy. Sadly, to start with, “perfect” wasn’t how one would have described my digestive system. Another one of those things! Without wanting to gross people out with details of digestive matters, having to go to the toilet is a nerve-wrecking event, especially at the beginning of a relationship, requiring MacGyver-like qualities. This was especially bad with Number Five, because I was so in love that my stomach was in a terrible state anyway. I was hardly able to eat and my entire stomach region was mightily a-grumble all the time. Naturally it wasn’t possible to engage in activities that would potentially relieve my bellyache while I was with him. This meant that I struggled with immense pain in belly and stomach and