The Perfect Fit - A Psychic Romance, Laney's Past Life & Love by TY Gister

Chapter 1
     
    No wonder they've used this place for a couple of TV dramas, it's beautiful yet crazy all at the same time. Especially on days like today. I love coming up here, it's as if up high I get a chance to see things more clearly. Well that's what it feels like when I'm up here, but the clarity fades all too soon as I get back into town. The wind picks up, whipping my hair across my face, not attractively as the TV would make out, just blasted in every direction, more mop-like than madly seductive.
    I always think how strange it is there are more health and safety fences and warnings in the car park at the foot of the cliff, than there are up here, infact there's no fencing at all on the cliff edge, just a simple wire fence separating the path and the neighbouring golf course. On calmer days I've tentatively peaked over the edge, getting as close as I dare, it's a straight drop down. It's so cool looking down on the seagulls having fun floating in the breeze.
    Although it's windy today, it's not cold and the sun is out so the sea looks fantastic. A handful of dog walkers are striding along the pebble beach, head down in the wind. Taking a seat on the only bench along this stretch of cliff, I rest back against the wooden slats, smiling as the wind swirls around me. It's funny, I always find it strangely stimulating when it's windy and I'm up high.
    It doesn't take long for my mind to start flicking up thoughts and images in quick succession. So why am I on my own? Why are parts of my life not working? What is it I'm not seeing? How come I can seem to help other people and yet be so crap at helping myself? Is it only me, or doesn't life make much sense at times? Some questions are just too big for my brain to work out.
    Once my mind has started down this kind of route, I can't sit still for long, not without a pen and paper in my hand anyway. Although I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago, there's obviously quite a way to go yet too. Starting to feel the cold, I get up and head off towards the town at the foot of the cliff, specifically the little cafe that has become a regular watering hole for me over the past few weeks.
    I walk this particular route two or three times a week. Across the town, along the beach until I get to the cliff path and then up and back in a large circuit. I love how different it feels, walking along the beach and then as I get to the top of the cliff, not only do I feel a sense of satisfaction at having made the steep climb up but the energy here is so different. It's wilder, more exciting and vibrant somehow. After the hour and a half it takes, the cobwebs are well and truly blown out. Or are they?
    That's just the point, I think they're blown away, it feels like they've blown away but nothing much seems to come of it. Logic tells me, my head is clearer. I've done something physical, I feel good, I feel as if I'm in a good place mentally and emotionally and yet if I look at my life I'm not that happy with it. But then I'm not unhappy... I'm just not happy. It's always been so hard for me to explain to myself let alone to anyone else. Sometimes I wonder if there's a switch inside me that I haven't found yet, one that will suddenly spring life into vibrant action.
    It's not that I'm bored, I keep myself busy, a friend suggested that that is probably a way of distracting myself, maybe she's right. God, I'd find it so hard to sit still.
    No matter how much I exercise, my knees just don't like walking straight downhill, carefully I kind of side step my way down the well trodden pathway. There are some naturally formed steps and then a few man made ones but on the whole it's a pretty good path. It takes more skill and attention to avoid the organic parcels the sheep have left behind.
    Crossing the car park, I'm glad I brought my rucksack with me. A super large mocha is what I need right now and a quiet hour or two getting what's in my head out onto paper.
    My favourite table is empty.