The Perfect Marriage by Kimberla Lawson Roby

because
     of money, one of the main things Derrek still couldn’t get beyond, and now it was too late. His brother was dead, and there
     wasn’t a thing he could do to bring him back. There was nothing he could say and no amount he could pay to fix this, and the
     mere thought of these realities was devastating.
    Then, if that wasn’t enough, Derrek also couldn’t stop thinking about the cruel thoughts he’d had just before listening to
     Dixon’s voicemail. He’d been thinking how when he got out of the shower, he would finally call Dixon back to set him straight
     once and for all, so he’d never have to hear from him again. This, of course, bothered Derrek more than anything because in
     a matter of hours, Dixon had passed away, Derrek’s wish had come true, and his angry words would haunt him forever. Worse,
     their own mother hadn’t even attended her son’s funeral, even though their father had found her and told her the day and time
     of it. It wasn’t like Derrek had wanted to see his mother, anyway—or even his father again for that matter—but he still couldn’t
     imagine any mother not wanting to see her son one last time before he was buried.
    There was also something else, too, though, that broke Derrek’s heart: the very candid, yet disturbing letter Dixon had written
     and left for him in a sealed envelope. Nina had given it to Derrek the day after Dixon’s funeral, and now Derrek pulled it
     from his briefcase. He’d read it no less than twenty times, but he still couldn’t believe what Dixon’s life had been like
     over the last three years.
    Derrek removed the two-page, handwritten letter from the envelope and unfolded it.
    My dear brother,
    If you’re reading this letter, it means I’ve passed on, and while I’m hoping and praying we finally got a chance to talk and
     see each other before that happened, I still wanted to write this letter just in case we didn’t. For the most part, I’m not
     even sure where to begin, so I’ll just start by saying how terribly sorry I am for the way things turned out between us. I
     was dead wrong for the way I constantly abused your kindness over the years, and I am profusely sorry for not paying you back
     your money. What I did was uncalled for, and I hope you can somehow find it in your heart to forgive me.
    The other thing I wanted to tell you was that these last three years of my life have been the worst. I went from finding out
     I had cancer, which Nina will tell you more about, to doing something you and I both swore we’d never do. I started using
     drugs. First I dabbled a little with marijuana, then I ended up trying a little cocaine, but it wasn’t long before I moved
     on to smoking crack. To this day, I still don’t know exactly why or how I resorted to all of this, except I think I’d finally
     come to a point where I simply couldn’t take all the sad feelings anymore. After that last phone call you and I had, I couldn’t
     eat or sleep, and I barely said more than a few words to anyone, including Nina. I was a total mess, and all I knew back then
     was that I needed something to take my mind off of everything. I wanted to forget about all my problems and all the regret
     I was feeling, and the next thing I knew I was using. I was caught up in a way like you could never imagine, and my addiction
     practically ruined both my life and Nina’s.
    Anyway, I guess the good news is that I finally agreed to get help, partly because Nina threatened to leave me, so I thank
     God for that. Of course, now that I have cancer again and my doctors have given me only a short time to live, I wish I hadn’t
     wasted so much time getting high. I wish I’d found another way to deal with all the pain I was feeling, but now it’s too late.
     The other thing I regret is not doing everything I could to help Mom and Dad. I know you and I made a pact many years ago
     to never have anything to do with either of them, but D, I have to tell you…if I