The Prom Goer's Interstellar Excursion by Chris McCoy Page A

writes all the songs…even though he hasn’t actually written a song in years.”
    â€œDo you ever see your family back home?”
    â€œI don’t have a family back home,” said Cad. “My mom passed away when I was young, and my dad has been living with a wife and kid he cares about much more than me for as long as I can remember.”
    â€œI’m sorry.”
    â€œI’ve had a long time to get over it,” said Cad. “For better or worse, this band has been my family for a decade. It’s just dysfunctional as all get-out.”
    â€œAttention, ingrates,” said Driver over the bus intercom. “It’s showtime. Remember: we’re playing Berdan Major Arena tonight. Write the name on your hand so you don’t forget. Audiences don’t appreciate it when they realize you don’t know what planet you’re on.”
    Cad picked up a pen and wrote Berdan Major Arena on his palm.
    â€œI have to get ready,” said Cad. “If you have more questions, I’ll answer them after the gig.”
    â€œOne more and I’ll leave you alone,” I said. “How am I ableto understand what everybody is saying if I only speak English and the band is from all over the universe?”
    â€œIt’s because of the Spine Wine. You know how when you’re buzzed, you feel like you can completely understand everything people are saying because you’re on the same cosmic level?”
    â€œI guess. I’m pretty new to it.”
    â€œDrinking the wine follows a principle similar to sitting around with your friends on a Friday night—sip a little bit of that stuff and you get just mellow enough to understand what any creature, animal, or inanimate object in the universe is saying. You just understand. ”
    â€œSo I was drugged, is what you’re saying.”
    â€œTechnically, you were drugged, but I wouldn’t worry about it. On tour you could get dosed at any time.”
    â€œDoes that mean I have to keep drinking it to know what everybody is saying?”
    â€œNah, it stays in the body for years,” said Cad. “It’s like LSD in the way it changes the brain so you can never totally go back, but at some point your translation skills will start to fade. Now I have to get ready. I suggest checking out the view. Just don’t bother Skark—he’s a nightmare to deal with before gigs.”
    â€”
    I didn’t care that there was an embargo on talking to Skark before shows, or that the band had an engagement, or that if they were to kick me off the bus, I would be in a deep amount of trouble. I needed to help Sophie, now.
    I found Skark standing in front of the bathroom mirror,painting a blue rectangle over his eyes with granular makeup. He was naked except for a pair of white leather jeans, and he was so thin I could see his ribs under the skin of his torso, which he had powdered to match his pants.
    I lingered near him for a moment. He sighed, then spoke before I even had a chance to start the conversation.
    â€œGood God, man, I hope you’re not going to ask me again about stopping the tour for your girl,” he said, pressing his eyelashes with a delicate metal curler. “If I’d known you had selfish reasons for joining us, I would have never invited you on board.”
    â€œI’m not asking for you to stop the tour. I’m asking if we can get her before something bad happens. I know it’s a pain in the—”
    â€œTruer words have never been spoken. Whatever part of the anatomy you were about to reference, it is a pain in that particular place. Let me ask—did I or either of my bandmates kidnap your prom date?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œSo you agree that we are not responsible for the kidnapping of your prom date, yes? Please say that for me if it’s true.”
    â€œYou’re not responsible for her kidnapping.”
    â€œAnd did we bring you aboard with