The Reign Of Istar by Margaret Weis, Tracy Hickman

GOBLINS.
    FINALLY HE TOLD HER HIS DEEPEST SECRET: THAT HE WAS NO LONGER SURE WHAT BEING A KNIGHT
     MEANT, AND THAT HE WONDERED WHETHER OR NOT, BY DOUBTING THE MEASURE, HE HAD VIOLATED THE
     OATH.
    LORAINE LAUGHED, AS SHE OFTEN DID, AND TOLD HIM HE WAS TOO SERIOUS. HE TRIED TO RUFFLE HER
     HAIR, AS HE OFTEN DID, AND AS ALWAYS SHE DUCKED AWAY UNDER HIS HAND.
    EVERY MORNING THAT SUMMER, MORAN WOKE UP ANGRY. AT NIGHT, ANGER TURNED TO PASSION, AS IT
     SOMETIMES DOES TO MAKE AGING MEN FEEL YOUNG. HE LAY AWAKE FOR HOURS THE NIGHT LORAINE, LEAPING UP, KISSED HIS NOSE (HE CAUGHT
     HER, AS HE ALWAYS DID) AND SAID, “I HOPE YOUR HONOR IS NEVER AS SOFT AS YOUR TOUCH.”
    IS IT, HE WONDERED? DO I WANT TO STAY A KNIGHT AND LIVE FOR A WAR THAT WILL NEVER COME, OR
     WOULD I RATHER GIVE MY WHOLE LIFE TO LORAINE?
    THAT WAS EIGHTEEN SUMMERS AGO, SHORTLY BEFORE TARLI WAS BORN.
    *****
    In the afternoon breeze, the wooden saddle-mounts creaked on the ropes and pulleys. The
     squires looked from the mounts to the rack of shields and metal-tipped lances, and stared
     uneasily at the suspicious-looking rust-brown stains on the courtyard stones. The stones
     had been scrubbed well, but the stains were too deep to come out.
    Moran was proud of those stains; he'd spent much of last week painting them on and aging
     them. “Right.”
    All heads turned. He stood in the archway, a twelve- foot lance tucked under his arm as
     easily as if it were a riding whip.
    He saluted with the lance, missing the arch top by inches. He flipped the lance over his
     right shoulder, then his left, then spun it around twice and tucked it under his arm, all
     without scraping the arch.
    Tarli applauded. His clapping slowed, then stopped, under his classmates' cold stares.
    “The lance,” Moran said loudly, “is the knights' weapon of tradition. Huma consecrated
     one, called Huma's Grace, to Paladine. A single knight, with a single lance, defeated
     forty-two mounted enemies during the Siege of Tarsis.”
    He looked over the group with disdain. “Let me also mention that your lance may - just may
     - keep you alive while you are squires. Later you'll train with footmen's lances. For now
     - ” He pointed the lance suddenly under Saliak's nose, then transferred the lance to his
     left hand and all but stabbed Tarli. “You and you, choose lances and mount up.”
    Saliak flinched. Tarli, to Moran's pleasure, did not even blink. “On the barrels?” Tarli cried in excitement. He stared at the wooden mounts, whose reins ran through eyelets to join the pulley ropes.
    “They're not barrels, runtlet,” Saliak hissed.
    Tarli shrugged. “They're not horses, either. What are they supposed to be?”
    Saliak said, “Who cares,” and pulled the first lance from the rack. He snapped it up, then
     down, in a clumsy salute. He was long-limbed and strong. Despite his inexperience, he
     could control the lance well.
    Tarli lifted his own lance upright and staggered as the weight toppled him backward.
    “It's too long,” he complained. His classmates snickered.
    Moran regarded him solemnly. “Grow into it.” Saliak laughed loudly. Carrying his lance
     clumsily by the middle, Tarli walked over to his mount, which was scored with lance hits. A stubby board projected from
     under each side of the saddle. He studied them. “If these were bigger, I'd say they were
     wings.”
    He turned to face Moran, his face alight. “It's supposed to be a dragon, isn't it? You're
     training us to fight dragons, like in the classroom tapestry.”
    Good guess, Moran thought. Once that was probably true; now the drill was kept to honor
     Huma and to make beginning squires feel clumsy and humble.
    Aloud he said only, “Spotters,” and passed the ropes to the boys. “When I give the signal,
     raise the mounts into the air. Riders, mount up, take reins and shields, and fasten your
     lances.”
    The two combatants straddled their mounts. Saliak sat easily and comfortably