The Remarkable Flight of Marnie McPhee by Daniel Karasik Page B

with X-ray vision, can possibly find me?
    She sees one of her dad's old textbooks that lie scattered on the basement floor.
    Wait a minute…
    She goes to a textbook, flips it open, pages through it.
    What if I…
    She looks up at us in wonder.
    What if I built a…
    A…
    A…
    Yes!
    Wooooooohooooooo!
    She does a crazy dance of joy.
    She notices the audience is still there, waiting.
    Oh. You want to know what I'm talking about?
    Well… maybe I'll tell you.
    If you're nice.

2
    Later that afternoon…
    MARNIE
    Okay! Everyone's back from work and school! Therefore, it's time to begin my mission!—which is… shhhhh, because it's a secret, sort of: in order to buy materials for my Really Big Escape Idea, I need to acquire millions of dollars!
    Mom! Dad!
    Calling offstage to DAD:
    MOM
    I'm going out to take dinner and groceries to my mother, call me if you want me to bring you back something to eat.
    MARNIE
    Mom.
    MOM's distracted, getting ready to leave.
    Mom. MOM! MOM!
    MOM
    Yes, Marnie, what is it.
    MARNIE
    So, I need to acquire millions of dollars, and I had this idea for how to acquire them, and I was wondering…
    MOM
    I don't have time right now, Marnie, your grandmother's waiting for me.
    MARNIE
    But I really want to learn how to sew!
    Which she pronounces "sue."
    MOM
    It's pronounced "so."
    MARNIE
    Whatever.
    MOM
    I'll show you next week when I have a bit more time.
    MARNIE
    But no, but I need to learn now, for commercial reasons!
    MOM
    For what reasons?
    MARNIE
    Commercial reasons! Commercial. Like when you sell something: commercial. Also when you advertise for it on TV. Same word. For those reasons. I need to learn how to sew so I can sell my sewage and make millions of dollars!
    MOM
    I really don't think you need millions of dollars, Marnie. If you want to buy a snack from the vending machine at school I can give you a loonie—
    MARNIE
    Please, don't make me laugh! Ha. Ha. What I need to buy costs much more than a loonie. I need a million loonies!
    MOM
    What is this you've got your eye on?
    MARNIE
    Oh, nothing.
    MOM
    Your father and I can talk it over, and I believe somebody's got a birthday coming up pretty soon…
    MARNIE
    Three months?! That's like the distant future!
    MOM
    I hope it's not a horse. Your father and I can't afford a horse.
    MARNIE
    It's not a horse.
    MOM
    That includes ponies.
    MARNIE
    It's not a horse including ponies. It's a…
    MOM
    Yeah?
    MARNIE
    â€¦it's a lot of scrap metal.
    MOM
    Hmm.
    MARNIE
    A lot of scrap metal. A lot.
    MOM
    A lot.
    MARNIE
    So much. This much.
    MOM
    I see. That is a lot.
    MARNIE
    I told you.
    MOM
    And what do you intend to do with that much scrap metal?
    MARNIE
    Oh, good question! Good question! But you don't have to worry about it, because I'm going to make the money myself. Through commercial sewage. What you make when you sew.
    MOM
    It's pronounced "so"!
    MARNIE
    I know! So I'm going to sew a lot of sewage.
    MOM
    We'll talk about this later.
    MARNIE
    Why not now?
    MOM
    Because your grandmother needs more toilet paper!
    MARNIE
    Why can't she go to the store?
    MOM
    Because she can't walk!
    MARNIE
    Sew what?
    MOM
    I don't have time for this right now, Marnie.
    MARNIE
    Why don't you sing anymore, Mom?
    MOM
    What?
    MARNIE
    â€¦
    MOM
    I don't have time, Marnie. I just don't have time.
    To us:
    MARNIE
    Okayyyyyy…
    I'll just have to get my millions of dollars from another source! And this other source can provide me not just with millions of dollars but also with information!
    Dad!
    DAD
    Right. Uh-huh. Yeah.
    He's paging through a scrapbook of his glory days in aeronautics. Oblivious.
    MARNIE
    What are you reading?
    DAD
    Ancient history. This is me in astronaut school. And this is me beside the spaceship I was supposed to go up in. It was in the newspaper, see?
    MARNIE
    Anyway, Dad, what I wanted to know is, a) do you have millions of dollars I could borrow, and b) how do you build