The Revenant by Sonia Gensler

window that night. I could almost believe he fancied me. My heart soared and then sank again almost at once, falling to my stomach with a sickening thud. Did he think it amusing to play with the affections of a young teacher?
    I looked away.
    He strolled casually next to me, and though our shoulders were not touching, I could feel the warmth of his body, could almost imagine his arm circling my waist and my head against his chest. I breathed in his scent—a spicy, woodsy smell that reminded me of autumn nights in front of the fire with Papa. His nearness stoked a flame in my own body, starting at my chest and spreading upward to the very roots of my hair.
    Everyone was looking at me. I must have turned beet-red. How much time had passed since he asked the question? What was the question?
    Such a fool.
    “Oh! Well … your performance was quite a spectacle, Mr. Sevenstar. The girls enjoyed it immensely.” My voice squeaked oddly—sounding much like prim Miss Kirtley.
    “I’m glad to hear it,” Eli murmured with a small frown.
    We walked in silence. The girls stared at him under their long lashes. I could think of nothing to say. I’m sure we all sighed with relief when he finally opened his mouth to speak.
    “I must take my leave now, ladies.” He glanced at each of the girls, his eyes twinkling. “Hope you enjoy the rest of this fine day.” And with another tip of his hat, he turned to rejoin the others.
    We were barely a few steps away before the girls began to chitter like chicks in a nest. What a handsome young man! So dashing! Surely he had the loveliest eyes, the softest voice, the manliest shoulders.…
    “And he’s very courteous,” said one, her tone thoughtful.
    “Not uppity, like some people,” said another.
    They chatted quite companionably as we walked on, Eli’s kind attention having rubbed out the memory of Larkin Bell’s snub.
    Inwardly, I railed at myself for not steering them away from the Bells in the first place. I’d so looked forward to a day free of their spite, but like an idiot, I let the freshmen walk directly into its path. How could I have been so clumsy?
    At the same time, I couldn’t help thinking about Eli. He’d matched the Bells’ cruelty with kindness—no, it was gallantry . Was it for me ? Even a little? If only I could have joined the girls in their pleasant chatter. If I were a student rather than a teacher, I could have begged their opinion on every word spoken, every glance shared. Did he seem to notice me especially? Was he flirting? Or was he merely being courteous to a teacher?
    Did I make a fool of myself?
    But I knew those questions would only continue to echo in my brain, for there was no one to whom I could put them.
    The next Friday night, the tapping woke me yet again. For the hundredth time, I went to the window and, for the hundredth time, found nothing there. The tapping would not come when I stood near the window. But I knew it would start again the instant I was comfortably settled in bed.
    I thumped the window with my finger. “Why can’t you let me sleep?”
    There was no response.
    I shuffled back to the bed and lay down on top of the covers. Slowly, I slipped my legs under and pulled the covers up to my chin. The silence continued. I settled into the pillow and imagined I was a student at the seminary, dressed in beautiful clothes and receiving Eli Sevenstar in the parlor. He was taking my hand, ready to proclaim his deep adoration, when the tapping started again.
    “Oh, bother!”
    I threw the covers back once more and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. After much fumbling for a match, I lit the lamp and carried it to the window. I stood there for some time, listening, and then stepped back to stare at the window … and the chiffonier that stood next to it. I’d found nothing behind the chiffonier, but might something have made a nest inside it ? I shivered at the thought. The drawers had been clean and free of pests when I put my