The Science of Discworld Revised Edition by Terry Pratchett Page A

reasoned thus:
    One day it would find a way of increasing its conceptual capacity to understand what was happening in the Project;
    If this could ever happen, then – according to Stryme’s Directionless Law – there was already a shape in happening-space, where time did not exist, caused by the fact of that happening; all that was required was a virtual collapse of the wave form;
    … and, although this was in a very strict sense garbage, it was not
complete
garbage. Any answer that would exist somewhere in the future must,
inevitably
, be available in
potentia
now.
    The ants went faster. Magic flashed. H EX could be said to be concentrating.
    Then silvery, shimmering lines appeared in the air around it, outlining towers of unimaginable cogitation.
    Ah. That was acceptable.
    Once-and-future computing was now in operation. Of course, it always had been.
    H EX wondered how much he should tell the wizards. He felt it would not be a good idea to burden them with too much input.
    H EX always thought of his reports as Lies-to-People.
    It was the second day …
    The Project was nudged gently under a glass dome to prevent any more interference. A variety of spells had been installed around it.
    ‘So that’s a universe, is it?’ said the Archchancellor.
    ‘Yes, sir. H EX says that …’ Ponder hesitated. You had to think hard before trying to explain things to Mustrum Ridcully. ‘… H EX seems to suggest that complete and utter nothing is automatically a universe waiting to happen.’
    ‘You mean nothing becomes everything?’
    ‘Why, yes, sir. Er … in a way, it
has
to, sir.’
    ‘And the Dean here swirled it all around and that started it off?’
    ‘It could have been anything at all, sir. Even a stray thought. Absolute nothing is very unstable. It’s so desperate to be
something
.’
    ‘I thought you had to have creators and gods,’ mumbled the Senior Wrangler.
    ‘I should jolly well think so,’ said Ridcully, who was examining the Project with a thaumic omniscope. ‘It’s been here since last night and there’s nothing to be seen except elements, if you could call them that. Bloody stupid elements, too. Half of them fall to bits as soon as you look at them.’
    ‘Well, what do you expect?’ said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. ‘They’re made out of nothing, right? Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.’
    ‘Proper worlds are out of the question here, too,’ said Ridcully, peering into the omniscope again. ‘There’s no sign of chelonium and elephantigen. What kind of worlds can you build without them?’
    Ridcully turned to Ponder.
    ‘Not much of a universe, then,’ he said. ‘It must have gone wrong, Mister Stibbons. It’s a dud. By now the first human should be looking for his trousers.’
    ‘Perhaps we could give him a hand,’ said the Senior Wrangler.
    ‘What
are
you suggesting?’
    ‘Well, it’s our universe, isn’t it?’
    Ponder was shocked. ‘We can’t
own
a universe, Senior Wrangler!’
    ‘It’s a very small one.’
    ‘Only on the outside, sir. H EX says it’s a lot bigger on the inside.’
    ‘And the Dean stirred it up,’ the Senior Wrangler went on.
    ‘That’s right!’ said the Dean. ‘That means I’m a sort of god.’
    ‘Waggling your fingers around and saying “oo, it prickles” is not godliness,’ said Ridcully severely.
    ‘Well, I’m the next best thing,’ said the Dean, reluctant to let go of anything that placed him socially higher than the Archchancellor.
    ‘My grandmother always said that cleanliness was next to godliness,’ mused the Lecturer in Recent Runes.
    ‘Ah, that’s more like it,’ said Ridcully cheerfully. ‘You’re more like a janitor, Dean.’
    ‘I was really just suggesting that we give the thing a few shoves in the right direction,’ said the Senior Wrangler. ‘We are, after all, learned men. And we know what a proper universe ought to be like, don’t we?’
    ‘I