The Secret Journey by James Hanley

if we don’t watch out they’ll distrain on us. God! The fool I was! But you were the bigger one. I always said you were—I know for sure now. Why didn’t you stop me from going?’
    â€˜Stop you! How could I stop you, Maureen? Surely you’re not going to use that argument against me? I couldn’t have stopped you, even if I had wanted. For two reasons: you are like your mother—nothing will stop you; and even more important, I’m not the kind of person who would refuse to help your mother. I know what responsibility I took on when I signed the note. There will be some way out. Isn’t there some compensation money due to Anthony?’ he asked. He looked worried. He hadn’t expected this.
    â€˜Yes! There is! But whether she has got it or not I don’t know. Mother’s like that. She wouldn’t say. Now, listen to me. We’ve got to do two things. We’ve got to get that note altered, or something. We must find some way out. And if we do, we must leave Price Street. Understand? I want to get right out of this neighbourhood altogether. Begin a new life. I’m tired of it. And if you don’t know it, you’re blind, and not only blind, but a bigger fool than I thought you were.’
    â€˜Now you’re backing,’ said Mr. Kilkey. It was not often Joseph Kilkey raised his voice, but he raised it now. ‘You’re backing out. You ought to be ashamed. To hear you talk, you’d think your mother was a monster. Maureen, be sensible. Try and be decent. The excuse you all have is that this mother of yours is so terrible, so monstrous, that the only way you can live is by running away from her, as far as you can get. Nonsense! You owe a deal of respect to her. You all do. But, mean, selfish, conceited crew that you are, you haven’t even enough generosity to put in a thimble. Of course I helped your mother. I’ll help her again, if needs be. Why shouldn’t I? She is a decent woman.’
    â€˜Now we’re having that all over again. All right! You do that, and I go out to work right away. I can go back to my jute factory to-morrow. Joe, be sensible, be sensible. We have our own lives to live. Don’t you see?’
    She threw her arms round his neck. She kissed him passionately. ‘Yes, you are ugly, darling, but I love you—yes, I do love you. But all the same, you must be sensible. A note came this morning from that woman Ragner.’
    â€˜Where is it?’
    â€˜I burnt it,’ she replied. ‘There now—the child is awake.’
    She rushed to the cradle, picked up the child, and rocked it in her arms.
    â€˜Let’s go to bed, Maureen,’ said Mr. Kilkey, ‘we’ll talk about this to-morrow.’
    â€˜We’ll talk about it now, or not at all,’ replied Mrs. Kilkey. ‘You don’t know what you have let yourself in for.’
    She laid the child in the cradle, and stood leaning against the mantelpiece, one hand resting on her hip.
    â€˜Think of something.’
    This sudden turn of events left Mr. Joseph Kilkey quite speechless. It wasn’t so much the news itself—that was startling enough—it was the thought that this woman had just come from Confession.
    â€˜Maureen,’ he said, ‘haven’t you just come from the chapel?’
    He looked down at the child in the cradle, as though he were addressing it, and not his wife.
    â€˜What has that to do with it?’ replied Maureen.
    â€˜A lot,’ he replied. ‘How can you go to the altar in that state of mind? Besides, what you are now asking me to do is quite impossible. I can’t let your mother down now. You are asking me to break a promise I made. How contrary you are! Wasn’t it you who first took your mother to that woman? Wasn’t it you who first asked me if I would go surety? Didn’t you realize that what I did enabled your mother to pay the college authorities in Ireland?