The Spice of Life (The Transformation #1) by Jake Furie Lapin Page B

always that way…but you have to understand that my sexless marriage with its lack of passion or desire had really knocked the wind out of me. I had very little sexual confidence left in me at that point. It’s strange how it works for a man…even though I knew on an intellectual level that it was my wife’s problem, and that she simply had no libido to spend on me, part of me was still deeply wounded and affected by her sexual rejection. As a result, I had really let myself go. I suppose it was a way for me to protect myself.
     
    Anyway, because I had allowed myself to hide behind excess weight and sloppiness, I spent a month or so on the website before I even met anyone really interesting. But then I had some experiences that seemed really empty, and just based in that same old physical thing…almost like masturbating, with very little intimacy and connection. The lack of passion, combined with the stress of my working life almost caused me to quit the site, right then and there. It just seemed pointless. However, around that time, I met Mai Ling…”
     
    With the mention of “Mai Ling”, a new tone came into Jake’s voice, and Kelli quickly glanced up at him. He had an expression on his face that seemed to be halfway between lust and tenderness. Clearly Mai Ling was someone important.
     
    “Who was Mai Ling?” she asked.
     
    Jake smiled, mysteriously. “Ah. Mai Ling comes later. You don’t get to hear about Mai Ling today,” he responded firmly. “Today is for other things.”
     
    “Other things?”
     
    “Yes. You haven’t asked me at all about my childhood. Isn’t that supposed to be an important part of any therapy session?” His tone was serious, but his green eyes twinkled.
     
    Part of Kelli, the part that was used to arguing with Paul, wanted to point out that this hadn’t exactly been a typical therapy session so far. But something about Jake, something in his presence, caused her to hold back. She felt shy around him, like he was an authority figure. She should have been the one in control, but it didn’t feel that way.
     
    She smiled back at him. “Ok, then. You’re right. It would be good for me to know a little bit more about you…about where you come from and what makes you who you are. Why don’t you tell me about that?”
     
    He took another sip of water, and spoke again.
     
    “Well, I started my life in the big city, was born in Jersey City. The city has a lot to do with who I am. My younger brother and I were born in an apartment building, but moved out when I was very young, just five or six, because of something that had happened there. That event is one of my very earliest memories and it affected my life in a powerful way.”
     
    “What happened?” Kelli asked.
     
    “I saw a man die. And while he died, he looked right at me.”
     
    Kelli was mesmerized, and a little bit shocked. “Can you tell me a little bit more about that? How did it affect you? For a young child to see something like that…”
     
    “What I remember most is his eyes. I didn’t see pain there, or even fear. It was like he was looking straight through me, to the bottom of my being. And somehow, something in me answered him. As if this big, strapping black guy, and me, this little Greek/German kid were brothers. That’s really what it was like. Like he was my brother. In that moment, I think that I really understood mortality for the first time.
     
    I lived in a multistory apartment building; my guess would be that it was about 5 stories high, containing maybe about 30 units. My family lived on the 4th floor. The apartments lined the rectangular perimeter of the building, and the staircase leading to each floor revolved around the center, forming a central stairwell.  It was grueling work, lugging groceries up the rectangular staircase to the 4th floor.  One day, I was watching cartoons on a late midweek night. Both my parents worked very late to make ends meet, so I was being watched by