The Taming of the Bastard by Lindy Dale

not real. It’s a costume, like your sun costume. This is… Sam…
my... (I looked into his eyes and they were smiling) ...my
boyfriend.” It felt nice to say it aloud. It felt good to see the
grin spreading across his big red clown mouth.
    “Gosh.”
    “Sam, I’d like
to introduce you to Miss Paige Richards-Shaw.”
    Sam took her
little hand and shook it gently. Her Hannah Montana ring reflected
in his eyes and he squinted for a second before speaking. “It’s a
pleasure to meet you, Miss Paige. I’ve heard so much about you and
you’re even prettier in person.”
    She seemed
delighted at this and blushed a little. I stood, amazed, that Sam’s
charm could even extend to the pre-pubescent. She gazed at him
quizzically. She seemed deep in thought or confused. “But aren’t
you…?”
    “Oh no, it was
probably that other clown,” Sam laughed, chucking her under the
chin. “Well, I’d better get going. I’ll text you later.”
    We waved as Sam
went down the front stairs and hopped into his car, a funny man in
a clown suit driving an expensive sports car.
    “Are you sure
he’s your boyfriend, Millie?” Paige asked.
    “Positive,” I
answered. There was a lovely warm feeling spreading through me. Sam
was my boyfriend. And underneath his silly outfit and ridiculous
ways he cared for me.
    “That’s a
pity,” she replied, “I like clowns.”
    “Me too, Paige.
Me too.”
    As his car
swung down the sweep of driveway, a vision in ecru satin pyjamas,
floated down the stairs. Even with her eye mask pushed to the top
of her head and her hair sticking out like a golliwog Adele
maintained that fetching charm that Brian so loved. “Who was that
at the door, Millie?”
    I looked at
her. I could lie, I thought. It would have been best to lie because
I knew she hated me having visitors when I was working but I didn’t
have time. Paige piped up.
    “Millie has a
boyfriend. He’s a clown.”
    Well, that was
one way of describing him.
    Adele raised
her botoxed brow as far as it would go. “A boyfriend, you say?”
    “Er... um ...
yes.” There was no use denying it. She was bound to find out sooner
or later. “But I didn’t invite him over, Adele, honestly I didn’t.
In fact, I don’t even know how he found out the address. I didn’t
tell him.”
    I gazed
hopefully at her, praying her ‘migraine’ had not caused a rush of
hormones that would see her blow her stack.
    “And he’s a
clown, you say, Paige?” She looked down at her daughter and back to
me. Her lip quivered. She was going to hit the roof, I could see it
coming.
    Paige nodded
happily. “He’s very sexy.”
    “Paige!”
    Slowly, slowly,
Adele ran her tongue over her lips. She pressed them together and
pulled the tie on her robe tighter. “So let me get this straight.
You have a boyfriend .... who came to the door dressed in some sort
of fancy dress... in broad daylight... so that awful Jennings woman
from across the road could peer through her curtains and tell all
her friends at Karrinyup Country Club. Well.”
    I quivered in
my boots. “Um yes, his name’s Sam. He works at The
Lederhosen with me,” I rushed, trying to make him sound as
pleasant as possible. I wasn’t awfully convincing.
    “And was he
here? Dressed as a clown?”
    “He bought me a
gift.” I indicated the swag of balloons and could see Adele’s
impossible eyebrows hit the roof as she read the caption.
    “Is there
anything else you need to inform me of? I don’t have the time or
energy to find another nanny yet, you know, Millie. Good help is so
hard to come by.”
    “Of course
not,” I gasped. “It was a silly gift.”
    “From the boy
who works at the hotel? Sam?”
    How many more
ways could I repeat it? “Yes.”
    Adele was
silent. She tapped her forefinger rhythmically against her upper
lip for a second or two. She looked up at the balloons dancing into
afternoon breeze that was coming through the French doors.
    “Well, I
suppose that’s acceptable,” she