The Top Gear Story by Martin Roach

end challenge would be. Clarkson perhaps not surprisingly goes for the full power option, buying a Toyota Hilux truck – he named the good ship ‘Toybota’, a good choice of vehicle for sure. But then he wanted to strap two mega-powerful 500bhp outboard motors to the back of it. The expert brought in to save the presenter from imminent death watched aghast and had to explain to Clarkson that so much power was enough to empty most harbours and would make his Toyota un-sailable. Undeterred, Jeremy then proceeded to try out some sample boats and until the last second still insisted that they needed twin engines. He was also averse to making any form of hull,saying the whole point of the exercise was to make a car that could sail, rather than a boat that looked like a car.
    Hammond was a little less ambitious in the power stakes and opted for a trusty/rusty VW Camper. He rolled up wearing motorbike leathers and quickly turned the traveller’s van of choice into a houseboat. Then James May sailed in – literally – with his elegant Triumph Herald, complete with mast and sails. He seemed at ease with the prospect and was even said to be a ‘sailor’ although it later transpired that it was 31 years since he’d last set foot in a sailing boat! However, his effort did not get off to a good start when the car wouldn’t even start. Cue much hilarity from his rivals.
    While all this was going on, it’s hard not to reflect again on the logistics of this entirely ludicrous piece of television. For a start, the presenters would need at least three separate film crews to capture the respective efforts of each design idea. Then there would be the mechanics of each car/boat, bringing in the expertise to transform them into amphibious sea-faring vessels (although Clarkson’s ‘expertise’ seemed to consist of smashing the Hilux with a sledgehammer). And all the materials … and fuel … and insurance, and so on … Imagine organising all of this. The end result is a brilliant feature, but one that only lasts a small segment of a one-hour TV show.
    Amid a sarcastic comment from Clarkson that, ‘It’s the coldest March for 20 years because of global warming’, the intrepid trio meet up at the calm, still waters of a rural lakeside. May’s Herald was last to roll up and simply drove effortlessly into the water. Hammond, meanwhile, drove down a concrete ramp, broke the flywheel as he entered the water and rendered his vessel powerless before he’d even started. Eventually, he borrowed an outboard motor and they all set sail.
    By this point a large crowd had gathered and to be fair, itwould make for a fairly odd sight! Ultimately, Hammond’s car-boat capsized and he was forced to launch himself towards Clarkson’s vessel for safety. However, that eventually capsized too after two miles and on the very last bend of the harbour, so it was left to May’s more understated invention to ‘triumph’ (although even then he only managed to reverse halfway out of the water). Of course, it was all classic Top Gear .
    Yet in the production office, there was a sense that with a little more time and thought, the amphibious car idea might have achieved more so two series later, the idea was revisited. This time the challenge was far more demanding: to actually drive to Dover and cross the English Channel to Calais – a preposterous notion, really.
    This time the cars arrived looking much more sea-worthy. So, we have Jeremy’s Nissan truck – christened the Nissank – with a stabilised outboard motor and endless amounts of internal welding to make it watertight. He even added some huge metal drums to aid buoyancy and was so confident of his vessel that he took a fishing rod with him for those quiet moments when he would be miles ahead in the race! Hammond turned up in a Volkswagen Transporter, albeit only in name, as it really looked far more