The Trouble With Emma by Katie Oliver Page A

she said, and smiled.
    But just beyond her sister’s smile and words of reassurance, Emma heard a trace of…pity. She thrust her chair back and stood. “Don’t patronise me, Lizzy. And don’t you dare feel sorry for me, either. I don’t need a husband to feel fulfilled, and I certainly don’t need a man to complete me. The nineteenth century is
so
yesterday, or hadn’t you heard?”
    “Emma!” Lizzy stared at her in shock. “What’s wrong with you? I meant no insult, truly! Where is this coming from? Where are you going?”
    Emma went to Elton, who’d flopped, panting, onto the flagstones, and retrieved his lead. “Home. Back to my empty, meaningless,
unhappy
existence.”
    “Emma, really – you’re being ridiculous!” Lizzy snapped. “You’re overreacting, just like you always do. Stop it right now, and come and sit down and let’s talk about it.”
    “There’s nothing to talk about,” Emma said, and marched down the steps with Elton at her heels. “You’re married, Lizzy, and happy, and I’m glad for you. I am. But don’t waste time feeling sorry for me, because your sympathy is misplaced. I’m happy with my life. Happy!”
    With that, she turned away and stalked off before her sister and the others could see her face crumple and fall, like one of daddy’s cakes gone wrong.

Chapter 16
    By the time she and Elton reached the lane that led back to Litchfield Manor, Emma’s tears had dried, but her anger remained.
    How dare Lizzy feel sorry for her! Where was it written that one had to be married to be happy? Why wasn’t taking care of their father, and helping Martine to improve herself, and living a – a quiet life in the country, enough?
    Lady de Byrne’s words came back to her.
    What about
your
life? Aren’t you entitled to some happiness, too?
    Emma felt her throat thicken once again. The truth was, she wasn't happy. She was miserable.
    Oh, on the surface her life was pleasant enough, and ran along smoothly; and for that she was grateful. She was content living at Litchfield Manor and adored her father and sisters. But with Lizzy gone to London and married to Hugh Darcy, and Charlotte soon to leave on her gap year followed by university, Emma felt superfluous. Unneeded.
    Although they’d never say it, she knew her family and friends expected her to get married and settle down, to have children and raise a family of her own. And the heaviness of those expectations weighed on her.
    It wasn’t that she didn't want those things herself. She did, very much.
    She drew in a tremulous breath. It was just that she’d begun to think that marriage, a husband, and yes, even happiness, were things she’d never have. Things she wasn’t meant to have. 
    Emma sighed. She wasn’t the easiest person to be around; God knows, Jeremy had told her so often enough. She was critical and exacting and accustomed to having her way. But she only wanted to ensure the happiness of those nearest and dearest to her.
    Was that really such a bad thing?
    “I’ll never get married, Elton,” Emma confided as she knelt down to stroke the little dog’s fur. “I refuse to settle when it comes to finding the right man to share my life with.”
    Her thoughts drifted to a summer’s evening last June, the night before her wedding.
    I can’t marry you, Jeremy. I’m sorry.’
    He stared at her, at the engagement ring she held out to him, in astonishment. ‘But the wedding’s tomorrow, Emma. Tomorrow! The church is booked, all of our friends are here from London…you can’t mean this.’
    ‘I do mean it.’ Her voice was low but determined. ‘I’ve changed my mind.’
    ‘Or had it changed for you?’ he bit off.
    She looked up sharply. ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘Your good friend, Lady de Byrne, must have talked you out of it. She did, didn’t she? She took a dislike to me from the first instant we met. She advised you against marrying me…because she thinks I’m not good enough for you. Am I right?’
    Emma