The Untamable Rogue by Cathy McAllister

make sense. I wondered again what had made him into the man he was. Something must have led him to treat women like this. But if there was a soft core beneath the hard shell then it was very well hidden. Even his eyes were cold and unforgiving. The passion that I had briefly seen in them had nothing gentle about it. Even his caresses had something about them that was more punitive than loving. 
    “Sometimes it’s worth taking on pain in order to achieve something that lies hidden,” said Grandmother Aneta suddenly.
    “What do you mean by that?” I asked, my heart pounding. I had the feeling that the old woman knew exactly what had happened. She seemed to know even more about it than I did.
    “You know what I’m talking about. I know your destiny, my child. Have the courage to follow your heart and you will be richly rewarded – but the path is hard and stony. You will suffer and sometimes you will long more for this suffering than you appear to be able to bear, but in the end you will harvest a great deal.”
    “And what will I harvest?”
    “Love! – True and indestructible love. Not many people are granted that experience.”



Chapter 10
9 th July 1888

    I vo was thinking about Liz. He wanted to possess her. However hard he tried he could not get her out of his head. Never yet had he so yearned for a woman. He swore quietly and clenched his fists. He could not work out what was wrong with him, for this little grey mouse to have got under his skin like this, when he had already possessed much more beautiful women: women who submitted to him willingly. – Yes, but they were boring, too easy to get. This Liz was a challenge – innocent. She obviously came from a better class. He wondered what had driven her to disguise herself as a man and from whom or what she had fled. Neither his father nor his brother had told him anything, but even if they knew more they would not confide in him. He was always the outsider – the black sheep of the family, in fact of the whole clan. It did not particularly bother him – he preferred to be alone any way. One day he would put into action what had already occupied his head for a while. He just needed more money, but had already saved a considerable amount. When he had enough he would buy himself a passage on a ship to America – the land of unlimited possibilities where a simple man could achieve wealth; where ones’ origins played no role. The thought of a life as a wealthy man distracted Ivo from his unfulfilled desire. He leant against the trunk of the tree under which he was sitting and lit his pipe. Whilst he ruminated over his emigration his eyelids became heavy and the hand in which Ivo was holding his pipe slowly slid down and opened. The pipe fell onto the rough ground. Even before its glow was extinguished Ivo had fallen asleep.
    *
    Ivo was dreaming. He was standing on the deck of a ship crossing the Atlantic to America. She was standing alone at the railing, staring out to sea. He approached her and wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her but she – laughed. She was laughing at him.
    “You’re a failure! Do you really think you can make it work?” she asked, ridiculing him. “You’re scum, and once scum, always scum!”
    He grew angry and put his hands around her neck whilst she kept on laughing derisively until her features took on the form of those of another woman that he had once loved.
    ‘
You are scum…scum…scum…’
    *
    He was filled with pain and anger when he awoke.
    Lavinia – that false snake. He had loved her, revered her, and she had betrayed him so shamefully. She had taught him to hate. He had learnt his lesson. All women were selfish, lying creatures. The best thing to do was to use them and afterwards waste no further thought on them. He was no longer the stupid boy who laid his heart at a woman’s feet. He had been stupid – naïve. But that was a long time ago. He would never love again; never again allow a woman into his