things are going badly or theyâre going well and I expect disaster to strike.
The screams are getting louder. I think Iâm one of the people screaming.
Itâs bedlam, absolute craziness.
Corrine trips over Robin, whoâs in the middle of the floor, curled up in a ball shape.
Stacey yells, âDonât kill it. Letâs try to catch it and make it the bunk mascot.â
Someone throws a Frisbee.
A Paddington bear flies through the air.
Ellenâs trying to get it with her tennis racket.
Ted gets the bat.
Wham.
It falls to the floor.
He finishes off the job.
Crunch.
âI think Iâm going to be sick. And they say New York Cityâs rough. Iâll take a cockroach to a bat any day,â Janie yells and heads outside.
Stacey starts to cry.
Ted comes over to me. âThat was some BATtle, huh?â
Carl and Barbara rush in.
âWhatâs the problem?â
Corrine gets off the floor and points to the mangled bat. âTed got it.â
âGood job, Ted,â Barbara says.
âI just happened to be in the neighborhood and came to the rescue.â Ted bows.
âMy hero!â I say. âPerhaps I should be BATting my eyes at you.â
âIâll dispose of this,â Carl says, pointing to the bat.
âWeâve got to give it a funeral and bury it.â Staceyâs still crying.
âI think its last wish was to be cremated,â Ted says.
âBat killer,â Stacey says and steps on his foot. âIâm never going to talk to you again.â
Barbara explains to her about how bats may carry rabies and that Ted did the right thing.
Ginger interrupts, âAnd it might have been a vampire and sucked out someoneâs blood and driven that person insane. The person would then have brutally murdered every other person in this bunkand then committed suicide by throwing her body on a newly sharpened marshmallow stick.â
âWarped. Youâre absolutely warped. Look, letâs have the funeral and get some sleep. Itâs after midnight.â
Ginger continues anyway. âThe batâs brother and sister vampires are probably going to come here and try to avenge its death. Theyâll probably get all of us and weâll leave here with fangs.â
âI wonder if my orthodontist has ever made braces for fangs,â Risa says. âCome on, Ginger. Youâre just being obnoxious, as usual. Isnât she?â She looks around, waiting for someone to say yes.
Barbara says, âGinger, I think you could put your active imagination to good use. Why donât you write some of this fiction down and submit it to the magazine.â
âSheâd rather try to scare everyone,â Alicia says.
I think of how in the beginning I wanted to help her but havenât. Sheâs so difficult. I donât think she knows when to stop, whatâs a joke and whatâs cruel. That makes me nervous.
Corrine brings out a shoe box and shovels the bat into it.
We all grab flashlights and go outside.
Everyone shines her flashlight on one spot, and Ted makes a hole in the ground with the broom handle. Then he puts the box into the ground and says, âNow, somebodyâs got to say a few words.â
âMe,â Risa yells and begins. âDearly beloved, we are gathered here . . .â begins Risa.
âThatâs for weddings, dummy,â yells Ginger.
âNo name-calling,â Barbara says softly, putting a hand on Gingerâs shoulder.
I expect Ginger to pull away, but she doesnât. In fact she places her hand on Barbaraâs.
Risa starts over. âWe are here this evening to mourn this dearly departed bat.â
âHeâs not dear,â Bobbie says.
âWell, he is departed. Thatâs for sure.â Risa continues. âWhile we did not know him for long, he will leave a memory in our minds.â
âNot in our hearts,â Helene says.
Janie
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley