There's a Shark in My Hockey Pool by Dave Belisle

I think she liked
me better when I was sick. We just don't seem to connect. Once my
knee healed, our relationship -- hell, my life -- reads like the
Mudville nine. Nothin' but strikeouts and storm clouds."
    "Storm clouds?"
    "When I was a kid I had this picture book of
Casey at the Bat. At the end -- after he strikes out -- it starts
to rain with big dark clouds and everyone in the stadium goes home.
I always wondered if the storm clouds were meant to provide more
pity for Casey ... or just to save the artist from having to draw
the bleachers full of fans again."
    "Lazy artist," Sylvie said, hoping her remark
would spark a silver lining in one of those clouds. For them.
    "So I'm taking one last stab at stardom to
exorcise my devil once and for all."
    "You shouldn't talk about Helen that
way."
    "I'm not. I was referring to Victor
Erskine."
    Sylvie stopped in her tracks.
    "You're gambling your company because of
Victor Erskine?
    Derek told her of the game where Erskine had
chopped his knee in half, felling his NHL dream. How Helen had been
a pseudo-Red Cross envoy, caring for him as if he'd had
gangrene-ravaged trench foot. And how his recovery, their
relationship and his seething revenge traded spots daily on his
mental marquee.
    When he was done, Derek lowered his head and
looked at the crushed carpet. He rolled his glass between his
hands. Getting this out in the open was good therapy, he supposed.
He felt a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders ... or perhaps
it was the buzz from the hickory-soaked bark of the Pack o'
Spaniels.
    Sylvie had peeked long enough between his
ears. She took a sip from her drink and placed it on the table.
    "Come over here," she said.
    "Are we going to do what I think we're going
to do?" Derek asked.
    "And what's that?"
    "Share a non-stop ride on the tunnel of
love?"
    She looked at him coyly. Such coyness came
from knowing poutine was better than french fries.
    "I've got my ticket," she said. "Have you got
yours?"
    "It's here somewhere," he said, leaning over
to unbutton her blouse. "Oops. Wrong shirt." He sheepishly withdrew
and began unbuttoning his own.
    Derek's mind was racing like a furnace that's
just figured out it's February. Loverboy's quick, up-tempo song
"Get Lucky" danced through his head as he watched Sylvie pick up
where he'd left off. Without missing a beat, she continued
unbuttoning her blouse. Derek hit the pause button on Loverboy when
he realized he was getting ahead of her in the unbuttoning
stage.
    Shirts aside, they reached for each other,
closing in a warm embrace. Sylvie's skin was soft, smooth, and
Holstein white. Derek wanted to nestle in it for a few weeks. But
his heart was running on all ventricles. He snapped to. Bra. Bra
strap. Must remove. He was from a long line of tit men.
    He was about to go to work on it when Sylvie
pulled away. He groaned.
    "Are you okay?" she asked.
    "Well ... yeah. I mean ... I think so." He
gave her a strange look.
    "I thought you might be having a heart
attack. You're shaking."
    "I, uh ... I ... always shake when I take off
my shirt. It's a rapid, uh ... flexing of the muscles. It keeps me
limber." Derek flexed his pectorals for good measure.
    "Well, stop it. You're scaring me."
    Derek looked at her Wonderbra-encased breasts
staring back at him. He reached for his drink. It was a Catch-22
situation. Another belt and he'd incur serious downtime in the
mission at hand. But if he didn't take a drink, his goose bumps
would restart their jackhammers and the nearby treasure chest would
be buried deep ... hidden away for the night. He swallowed quickly
and congratulated himself for remembering to offer her a drink as
well.
    Sylvie sipped slowly, not taking her eyes off
him. She was on the verge of a nervous giggle but didn't want to
sink the good ship Passion.
    Derek set his drink down.
    "Now then, where were we?"
    "I think it's still referred to as foreplay,"
Sylvie said.
    "Only if your roommate arrives with a
friend."
    She smiled and moved