This Savage Heart by Patricia Hagan

Colorado Volunteers attacked, led by Colonel Chivington. He gave orders not to take prisoners. He went charging into that camp waving an American flag, and Black Kettle waved a white flag. Indians were slaughtered—little children hacked to pieces, squaws killed. And the next day soldiers cut up corpses and took scalps and parts of bodies and hung ’em on their saddles and hat bands and rode on into Denver to show ’em all off.”
    Julie felt her stomach roll with revulsion. “But how could they? These were peaceful Indians.”
    He snorted. “I know, but you won’t be feeling sorry for ’em if they come after us. It’s bad enough when they got tomahawks and bows and arrows, but you give one of ’em a gun, and look out!”
    Julie shuddered. “I’ve heard enough for one day, Lonnie Bruce.”
    Julie could not get the story out of her mind, and later that day, after the wagons had circled into their nightly corral, she drew Myles away from Teresa and repeated what she had heard. He did not seem surprised. “I know, Julie. I heard about it back in San Angelo.”
    “And you didn’t tell us?” she asked, incredulous.
    “We knew when we left Savannah that we were going to be heading through Indian territory. Why make ourselves fearful? There’s not a wagon train heading west from any point that doesn’t face the risk of Indian attack. We just have to be careful. Do you think Arnhardt is riding out every day just to look for fallen trees in our path? Hell, no. He’s looking for Indians.”
    “And has he seen any?”
    Myles shrugged, averting his eyes.
    “Myles!” Julie cried, grasping his shoulders. “I have a right to know.”
    Patiently, he said, “As far as we know, we don’t have anything to worry about until Arizona. If you want to know more, ask Arnhardt. Though I doubt he’ll tell you any more than he tells us men, which isn’t much. He isn’t going to get people riled or upset unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
    She did go to Derek, and after he had told her more horror stories, he said firmly, “I’m trusting you to keep what I’ve told you to yourself. The men are aware of the dangers, but there’s no point in scaring the women.”
    “Ah, yes, protect the women from worry,” she said sarcastically. “Don’t let them worry about anything until a screaming Indian comes at them waving a tomahawk. Then they may worry.”
    Suddenly, something flashed in his eyes and he reached over to wrap strong arms around her, pulling her close. “Damn it, Julie, you don’t have to be afraid. Don’t you know I’ll give my life, if I have to, to keep you from harm?”
    Julie listened for the command of her brain to pull away from him, but there was only the sound of her heart. A warm feeling was spreading through her limbs, a good feeling, a delicious feeling. She found herself smiling up at him. “Yes, Derek. I do know that, just as I know I can’t deny what I feel for you.”
    His mouth claimed hers in a soul-searing kiss, and she clung to him in desperation, wanting the moment never to end.
    “You know,” he said finally, angrily, “you’re in my blood like a hunger that can’t be fed. When I’m out on that trail every day, it haunts me—the joy, the pain—every damn thing we had. You feel it, too, I know you do.”
    “Yes. I won’t lie, but—”
    “Goddamn it, Julie, we can’t go on like this. It’s time we talked again. I’ve come to an understanding within myself, and there’s something you have to know…something that may help you understand me better. I’m not the cold-hearted bastard you think I am.”
    Julie was suddenly, gratefully aware that Derek had held a part of himself away from her all along. An intense shudder went through her as she realized the moment of truth was at hand. “Then tell me, Derek,” she urged. “Tell me what I need to know, Derek.”
    “We’re going to be together,” he said gruffly, tightening his hold on her. “Like it or not. You’re