Thistle and Twigg by Mary Saums Page A

few doors down to Alton’s Gun Emporium. I’ve been friends with Alton for years because he was my husband’s cousin. I was glad to throw a little business his way.
    A bell jingled when I opened the shop door.
    “Hey Phoebe,” Alton said. “I’ll be right with you.”
    Alton looked like he always did, smiling no matter what and his bony arms hanging out of some ridiculous polyester bowling shirt.
    I said hey and right then I realized who the customer at the counter was. I patted my hair up and bit my lips to make them redder as I walked closer to the handsomest man in four counties, Jack Blaylock. He hosts the local hunting and fishing show on the public TV station every Saturday night and has even been a guest expert on several cable programs on tracking game through the woods.
    I winked at him. “Why, my stars, Alton, I had no idea you catered to celebrities. Mister Blaylock, I’m Phoebe Twigg. I see you on TV all the time, although I’m not a fish and wildlife enthusiast such as yourself.”
    He nodded at me and said, “Ma’am.”
    His black hair had hardly any gray in it, even though I knew he must be in his sixties like me. He was handsome enough to be one of those smoking cowboys in the cigarette ads.
    We got to talking and it came out that Alton and I were related by marriage. I said to Jack, “That’s right. Alton here is my late husband’s double first cousin.”
    Jack Blaylock nodded like he understood. “What exactly is a double first cousin?” he said with a sexy laugh. His deep voice and his long eyelashes made my knees go a little quivery.
    “Alton here and my late husband, Ronald, were first cousins on both sides of the family. Their mamas were sisters, who married brothers. In other words, Alton’s mama was Noreen Shelton and her sister, Nelda, was my late husband Ronald’s mama. Noreen married Bill Twigg and Nelda married his brother, Lonnie, which makes Alton and Ronald cousins, twice. Ronald, my
late
husband. Who passed away years ago.”
    “I see,” Jack said, while he gave me the once over.
    “Now, y’all don’t pay any attention to me. Go right ahead with what you’re doing because I want to listen and see if I can learn something while I browse.”
    I thought how glad I was I had on my dangling amethyst earrings. They look good with the lavender pant set I had on. Always look your best, that’s what I say You never know who you’ll run into.
    “Why would a pretty thing like you need to know about guns?” Jack took a pistol from Alton and clicked it open where the empty bullet holder fell out the handle.
    I gave Jack’s arm a little slap. “After what I’ve been through today with police interrogation and dead bodies? What, y’all haven’t heard about it yet?”
    They both shook their heads and said, “What happened?” at the same time.
    “Well,” I said. I thought a second, took a deep breath, and began. “It all started yesterday about noon. I went in to Wriggle’s to buy my brother a tackle box …”
    I gave them the whole story, all the way to me coming into Alton’s store. “And that’s why I need me a gun.”
    Alton leaned down and hung his arms over the counter, steadily shaking his head at me. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”
    “And why not?” I asked. “Why shouldn’t I get one?”
    “Well, Phoebe, I don’t really know how to say this, but you’ve been known to be a mite clumsy at times.”
    I put my hands on my hips and counted to five. “Will you never forget that doggone wedding cake?” I said. I’d had a small accident at Alton’s oldest boy’s wedding over ten years ago. Ronald was still alive then. We got up to dance and were close to the refreshments table at the reception. Somebody had dropped an ice cube on the floor and hadn’t picked it up. I stepped on it with my heel and my feet went flying out from under me. Naturally I tried to grab hold of something to break the fall. The nearest thing was the cake table. It