To Love a Way of Life by Natalie Hart Page B

Her mother had been no help, of course. She was pushy, ‘tell him, dump him if you must but do something.’ That night Patrick asked her again about going out for dinner. She felt bad telling him she was tired, and she needed to go to bed.
    She felt crazy, she was acting crazy. She’d have to get over this and deal with it like an adult, but she wanted to talk to someone. Her mother would just push her again, ‘just say it to him.’ She hadn’t coaxed the information about Maia out of anyone. Knowing he had a daughter wasn’t a big betrayal of his trust, it was more of a betrayal that she hadn’t told him she knew. But it was up to him to tell her about his daughter.
    They had had good days. When she wasn’t thinking about his family life she really enjoyed being with him, but it was always lurking. She’d be enjoying spending time with him, and Stan and it would pop up in her mind, right out of nowhere.
    She rang Sandra.
    “Hey love,” Sandra said as she answered her phone.
    “You up to anything?” Emma asked.
    “I’m just chatting with Amy, having a bit of a natter.”
    “Say ‘hi’ to her for me.” Emma could hear Sandra turn from her phone and say a few words, she guessed to Amy.
    “Amy says ‘hi’ back, and to wipe the mud from your boots before you come back up here,” Sandra said. “When will you be back?”
    “I have to teach a class this weekend, so maybe someday next week.”
    “Aw, I hoped to see you this weekend. I have work all day and could do with a night out after.”
    All Emma could manage to say was, “Oh!”
    “You had other plans?”
    “I was hoping you’d come to visit me over the weekend, I could do with having you down here.”
    “What’s wrong?” Sandra asked.
    Emma didn’t want to say, she felt her face curl up and she didn’t think she could hold it together over the phone if she opened up. There’d be no-one here to console her. She hadn’t felt this alone since the day she was left go from Desmond, Desmond and O’Malley. And even then she could visit Sandra straight away.
    “Come on girl, silence is no good.”
    “I’m just feeling a little lonely here.”
    “Patrick didn’t say something, did he,” Sandra said, it wasn’t a question. Coming from Sandra’s mouth it was a threat on his life if he had done anything.
    “No, Patrick’s been perfect, it’s me who’s the problem.”
    “So you wanted me to come down over the weekend,” Sandra said.
    “Yeah,” Emma sniffled.
    “I have tomorrow off, I was just going to clean the apartment but I can live in filth for another few days. That’s how much you mean to me.”
    “You can come tomorrow?” Emma asked.
    “Isn’t that what I just said?”
    “Well, no, you didn’t.”
    “Ah god, it’s worse than I thought,” she said. “Do you need me to bring anything?”
    “I left some books near the TV in my flat, will you use your key and pick them up for me?”
    “Anything for you, babe,” she said. “Are you sure you can hold out until tomorrow?”
    “The thought of you gracing Ballyhane with your snarky presence has me cheered up already.” Emma wiped her eyes, she didn’t think Sandra could tell she was crying.
    “I’ll try and bring some chocolate as well, from James’ Café.”
    “Patrick already has really good chocolate here,” Emma said.
    “And I bet he has a swimming pool and Jacuzzi too.”
    “Not yet, but I could do with a bath.”
    “Get yourself a bath then woman. He must have one of those.”
    “I think he does. I will.”
    “Ok, I’ll drive down first thing tomorrow. The weather is looking good for it.”
    “I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Emma said.
    “Bye, hun.”
    Emma dried her eyes and checked herself in the mirror, she wanted that bath but she didn’t want Patrick to see she had been crying. When she assured herself there were no signs of her tears, and after taking a few deep breaths she made her way to Patrick’s cottage.
    “Can’t sleep?” Patrick