To Love Anew by Bonnie Leon

she’d never again overlook the poorest of society.
    Exhaustion swamped her. She closed her eyes, hoping for sleep and praying for a miracle. But even as she prayed she didn’t believe. God hadn’t protected her thus far. Why would he begin now? Perhaps he was done with her.
    In her desolation she heard her mother’s voice. “God loves all people, especially those without hope. He loved even the lepers.” She’d spoken the words during one of their evening chats. Now, Hannah wondered if her mother could have been mistaken. What if God doesn’t love the sullied? If not, then I must be a stench in his nostrils.
    Her mind carried Hannah back to the basement room at the Walker estate. She could feel Charlton Walker’s hands on her, and again shame consumed her. Had she tempted him? Could she have fought harder? She stared out at the empty streets, thankful that no one could see her. In the light of day would her shame be evident? Would people know her secret just by looking at her?
    Exhaustion finally rescued Hannah from her thoughts, and she slept.
    A sharp, cramping pain in the middle of her stomach awakened Hannah. Morning light was beginning to reveal the littered street. The prostitutes and drunkards were gone, but doorways and alcoves housed others like her who had sought shelter.
    Shocked anew at her circumstances, reality swept through Hannah. What am I to do?
    She straightened cramped legs and pushed to her feet. Stretching her arms over her head, she tipped slightly to the side, hoping to work out unyielding muscles.
    At least it’s not raining , she thought, gazing at the sky. Pink touched the gray canopy. Perhaps today would be sunny and warmer.
    Running her hands over tangled hair, she thought, I must be a sight. Removing her hair clasps, she worked her fingers through the snarls and then repinned the hair. Opening her cloak, she gazed down at her wrinkled gown and let out a sigh. How will I ever find work? I look like a vagabond.
    She considered her other dress, but it had been packed in her satchel. Undoubtedly by now it was in worse condition than the one she wore.
    Her stomach growled and hunger knifed through her. She needed to eat.
    Sunlight brightened a clear sky and cast shadows along the street. With determination, Hannah headed for the market. Maybe she could find work or something to fill her hollow stomach.
    A coffee shop door opened just as she approached. A man swept away dirt from his porch and then moved back inside. The smell of coffee and baked goods lingered. Hannah moved to the door and gazed inside, watching while the owner set out a display of sweet rolls. Her mouth watered.
    Stepping just inside the doorway, she asked, “Sir. Perchance, do you have need of help? I can do most anything.”
    The man looked at her, his eyes taking in her disheveled appearance. “I’ve no need for the likes of you. This is a proper establishment.”
    “Sir, I am a proper woman. I’ve only recently fallen on hard times.”
    He still looked doubtful. Hannah searched for something she could say that would convince him. “I’ll do anything.”
    The man stormed toward her, forcing Hannah to step back onto the porch. “Your kind’s not welcome here.” He slammed the door shut.
    Hannah stared at the door. Tears burned the back of her eyes. She wanted to defend her honor. But what good would it do? And in truth, she had none to defend.
    She stepped backward onto the street. The ground beneath her feet shook, and she turned to see a team of horses charging toward her. She leaped away to avoid being trampled, lost her footing, and fell into a mud puddle at the side of the road. The horses and coach flew past. The driver didn’t even slow down.
    Pushing to her feet, she stared after the carriage. Passersby gaped, but no one offered assistance. Holding muddied hands away from her body, Hannah gazed down at her soiled dress. Now she’d have to use her other gown. She surrendered to hopelessness. How would