Treasure Fever! by Andy Griffiths Page A

Fred,’ I said.
    â€˜I think you do,’ he spat back.
    â€˜No, I don’t!’ I said.
    â€˜He does!’ said Clive.
    â€˜He does not!’ said Gretel.
    â€˜He does so!’ said Clive. ‘And so do you!’
    â€˜No they don’t!’ said Jack. ‘They don’t know anything. And neither do I. Or Newton. Or Jenny. None of us knows anything about anything. And of all the things we don’t know anything about, we especially don’t know anything about secret buried treasure!’
    â€˜Secret buried treasure, eh?’ said Fred. ‘If it’s so secret, how do
you
know about it?’
    Jack took a breath to reply but then stopped.
    He didn’t know what to say.
    Fred had outsmarted him.
    For a dumb guy, Fred could actually be pretty smart sometimes.
    But not as smart as me.
    I thought fast.
    Faster than I’ve ever thought in my life.
    Faster even than the speed of thought.
    And then I had a brilliant idea . . .
    The most brilliant idea I’d ever had. (At least for that morning, anyway.)
    It was an idea that would not only get Fred off our back, but would also help clear Skull Island of all the unwanted treasure seekers.
    I would tell Fred the truth. Well, sort of.
    â€˜All right, Fred,’ I said. ‘You win. You’re obviously too clever for us. There
is
a treasure.’
    â€˜I knew it!’ said Fred.
    â€˜I told you so!’ said Clive.
    â€˜Henry!’ said Jack.
    â€˜No, Jack,’ I went on. ‘No more lies. It’s time for the truth. Principal Greenbeard buried a treasure many years ago when he was a student at Northwest Southeast Central School, and it’s still here.’
    â€˜How do you know all this?’ Fred asked.
    â€˜I found out about it when I got sent to his office the other day,’ I told him.
    Fred eyed me suspiciously. ‘How do I know you’re telling the truth?’
    â€˜I can prove it,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a map.’
    â€˜You’ve got a map?’ said Gretel, dumbfounded. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I swiped it from Principal Greenbeard’s desk when he wasn’t looking. It shows the exact location of the treasure.’
    â€˜Why didn’t you tell
us
about it?’ said Jack.
    â€˜Sorry,’ I said, ‘but I didn’t want everybody to find out. I made up the stuff about it being on Skull Island to protect the real location. But it’s no use: Fred’s too clever for us.’
    â€˜Since when?’ said Gretel, making a fist.
    â€˜Don’t even think about it, One-punch,’ said Fred. ‘I want that map, McThrottle.’
    â€˜What will you give me for it?’ I said.
    â€˜It’s not so much what I
will
give you as what I
won’t
give you. If you give me the map I won’t give you a neck squeeze so hard that your head pops like a pimple.’
    â€˜I’d like to see you try,’ said Gretel.
    â€˜I’d like to see you try to stop me,’ said Fred.
    â€˜I’d like to see you try to stop me stopping you!’ said Gretel.
    Newton was getting ready to blow his whistle.
    I put my hand over it to stop him. ‘It’s a deal,’ I said.
    â€˜What?’ said Jack. ‘You double-crosser! Don’t give him the map!’
    â€˜Easy for you to say,’ I said. ‘It’s not your neck that’s going to get squeezed or your head that’s going to pop like a pimple.’
    â€˜But it could be very easily arranged,’ said Fred.
    â€˜No, thanks,’ said Jack, shaking his head and then turning to me. ‘I thought we were friends, Henry. But I see I was wrong. I’m leaving.’
    â€˜Me too,’ said Gretel, shaking her head in disgust. ‘Are you coming, Newton?’
    Newton just nodded sadly and followed Gretel and Jack down the hill.
    Jenny could barely look at me. I’d never seen her look so hurt or shocked. ‘A true friend would