Treasure Fever! by Andy Griffiths Page B

have told us about the map,’ she said. Then she followed the others off the hill.
    I shrugged.
    â€˜You’re better off without those bozos,’ said Fred. ‘Now give me the map. I haven’t got all day, you know.’
    â€˜I don’t have it here,’ I told him. ‘It’s at home. I’ll bring it tomorrow.’
    â€˜Make sure you do, McThrottle,’ Fred warned. ‘First thing. Before school.’
    â€˜Yeah,’ said Clive. ‘Make sure . . . or else.’
    Fred and Clive laughed and headed off towards the canteen.
    I waited until they were out of sight and then went after the others.
    I had some explaining to do.

30
Dirty double-double crosser

    I found Gretel, Jack, Newton and Jenny in our favourite spot at the side of the basketball court.
    â€˜Why are you here?’ said Jack. ‘Don’t your new friends want to play with you anymore?’
    â€˜They’re not my friends,’ I said. ‘You are!’
    â€˜Well you sure don’t act like it,’ said Gretel. ‘Real friends trust each other.’
    â€˜I
do
trust you,’ I said.
    â€˜Why didn’t you tell us about the map, then?’ asked Jenny.
    â€˜Because there is no map,’ I said.
    â€˜What do you mean?’ Newton was perplexed. ‘You just told Fred that you had one. If you don’t give him a map, he’s going to squeeze your neck so hard that your head will pop like a pimple.’
    â€˜I’ll give him a map, all right,’ I said. ‘A
fake
map with the treasure marked as far away from Skull Island as possible. It will get Fred and Clive off ourbacks, and we’ll let everybody else know about it as well. Skull Island will be all ours again.’
    â€˜Great idea, Henry!’ said Jenny. ‘I knew you weren’t really a dirty double-crosser.’
    â€˜Well, actually I am,’ I said. ‘I’m going to double-cross Fred with the fake map.’
    â€˜Oh, yeah,’ said Jenny, frowning.
    â€˜And then, to make it even more complicated, I’m going to double-double-cross Fred by telling him that I told you all that it’s a fake map. Then we’ll be able to continue digging on Skull Island where we know the treasure
really
is.’
    â€˜Wow,’ said Jenny. ‘You’re a dirty double-
double
-crosser!’
    â€˜Very clever, Henry,’ said Jack. ‘But where are we going to get a fake treasure map?’
    â€˜We’re going to make one, of course,’ I said.
    â€˜And just how do we do that?’ said Jack.
    â€˜Easy!’ I said.

31
How to make a fake treasure map

    Â 
  1.
Go to the art room.
  2.
Tell the art teacher, Mrs Rainbow, that you all love art so much that you can’t wait for your weekly art lesson—you want to do it at lunchtime. She will be very happy to let you in. She loves enthusiastic students.
  3.
To make a fake treasure map you will need:
 
Paper.
 
Pens.
 
Cold tea.
 
A candle.
 
A cottonwool ball.
 
A piece of ribbon.
  4.
Ask Mrs Rainbow for all of these things.
  5.
Draw a map of the school. Get Jack to do it because he’s the best drawer, and he can draw really good maps.
  6.
Draw a skull and crossbones in the topright-hand corner of the paper.
  7.
Draw a compass in the top left-hand corner.
  8.
Write NORTH at the top of the map, SOUTH at the bottom, EAST on the right and WEST on the left.
  9.
Mark fake treasure location with an X.
10.  
Crumple up the paper.
11.
Flatten it back out.
12.
Crumple it up again.
13.
Flatten it out again.
14.
Crumple it up again.
15.
Flatten it out again.
16.
Argue with Jack about how many times you need to do this to give the map an authentically worn look.
17.
Use cottonwool ball to dab cold tea on it. This will give your map an authentically old brown look.
18.
Be careful not to accidentally use hot tea because it will burn