Unexpected Pleasures by Penny Jordan Page B

her.
    ‘I felt so ashamed...so...so guilty and afraid...’
    ‘The guilt was Ritchie’s.’ He paused as he looked at her, and then added in a low voice, ‘And the shame mine.’
    ‘It’s all a long time ago...and none of it matters now,’ Rosie told him jerkily.
    What on earth was she saying? Of course it mattered. She had never forgotten what had happened...his disgust...his contempt... Only he had just said that they had never been directed at her, but at himself.
    ‘This afternoon...were you leaving the party because you’d seen Ritchie?’
    His abrupt switch from the past to the present caught her off guard.
    ‘Yes,’ she admitted. ‘I saw you both...’ She bit her lip when she realised what she had admitted, and realised from the bleak look he gave her that he had recognised all that she had not said.
    ‘I suppose I deserved that,’ he told her. ‘I’m sorry if Ritchie upset or frightened you.’
    ‘Well, at least he didn’t remember...about the party. He was very drunk that night.’
    ‘But not too drunk to rape you.’
    The harshness of his voice startled her, making her body go tense.
    ‘I can understand why you want to protect Naomi,’ she told him. ‘But I’m no threat to Ritchie’s marriage.’ She gave him a small, bitter smile. ‘Far from it. Your Draconian measures this afternoon to keep me away from him really weren’t necessary. He’s the last man I’d want in my life, even if he wasn’t married...’
    She drank her wine quickly.
    ‘I wish you hadn’t said what you did in front of him, implying that you and I... If it gets round and people start to gossip... I know it isn’t supposed to matter these days, that a woman is as entitled as a man to enjoy her sexuality—’ She knew her face was burning, but she was determined to say what she felt must be said.
    ‘But you don’t want anyone thinking that you’re enjoying yours with me, is that what you’re trying to say?’ he interrupted.
    He sounded angry now, more like the Jake she knew, his voice harsh and tense.
    ‘This is a small town,’ she told him uncomfortably, ‘where people sometimes still make old-fashioned judgements. If it weren’t for the business... I—’
    ‘You’d what?’ he demanded. ‘Be quite happy for people to think that you and I are lovers?’
    He moved towards her and automatically she jerked back from him, her skin burning red beneath the cynicism in his eyes.
    ‘It isn’t that,’ she protested automatically. ‘It isn’t you...’
    Helplessly she saw the way he tensed, pouncing on her words.
    ‘Not me,’ he repeated softly. She saw him breathe in, awareness glinting in his eyes as he asked her quietly, ‘Tell me something, Rosie. How many men...how many lovers have there been since my cousin raped you?’
    To her horror, Rosie felt her whole body start to tremble. She could feel the emotion welling up inside her, the tears clogging her throat, the pain, the panic, the grief, all burning through her in a relentless, unstoppable tide.
    ‘None... None... I didn’t... I couldn’t... There wasn’t—’
    ‘Rosie... Rosie...’
    Almost before she could even blink Jake had covered the distance between them, taking her gently in his arms, removing the now empty glass from her hand, holding her as tenderly and carefully as though she were merely a child...a baby...
    A baby...
    The sound of anguish she made was smothered against his shirt, the tears she hadn’t realised she was crying soaking through the cloth.
    She tried to stop, to pull away, to regain control of herself and her emotions, but Jake wouldn’t let her. Instead he was talking to her, crooning almost, soft, reassuring words, telling her that it was all right for her to cry, that it was all right for her to show him her pain, to share her anguish and bitterness.
    Distantly she heard the small warning voice that urged her to think, to stop, to cease this act of idiotic self-betrayal with a man whom she had always thought of