Until You by Melody Heck Gatto

to the hospital. I was severely dehydrated. Sam, I was really sick. My organs were on the verge of shutting down. I was a goddamn mess.
    The doctors told me that due to all the stress, dehydration, and how it all just ravaged my body, I had miscarried while in the hospital. I didn't even know that I was pregnant! I never told Talia." She touched her stomach. Tears formed in her eyes, but she pushed them back. "That is why I am here. I love the beach. Being here has helped me to let go of all the grief. The grief of losing my fiancé, the grief of realizing he was never going to be mine, and the grief of losing my baby. I don't want to go back to Canada. I want to start a new life somewhere, me and Toby." She finally turned to face Sam.
    "Oh, Trina. Come home with me then. Start your new life there. I know it takes you farther away from Tyler, but—" Sam didn't know what else to say. She was finally showing him the true Trina, the scared girl. "Look, Trina," he said, gently tipping her face up with his finger. "Your past demons alone don't define you. Your loss, your miscarriage, your MS, together they have created the strong independent girl that I met here at the beach. That is who you are."
    Trina shook her head. "You just don't get it." She wanted to run, but instead she stood there looking up into his concerned blue eyes. "I couldn't even carry a child without messing it up. I fucked that up without even knowing I was doing it. I was a failure to my own baby." She touched her stomach again as the tears threatened to fall. "I will always be a failure."

CHAPTER 11
     
    Sam couldn't help it as a grin crept across his face. "So you're scared of being around Morgan? Is that it?" He realized that was her kryptonite. Kids . That's why she freaked out when he talked about her spending time with his niece. The gorgeous, strong girl who looked like she could kick anyone's ass was scared of kids?
    "I am not scared of kids!" she growled. "I'm just no good with kids. I'm pretty sure I'll break her or ruin her or something."
    Sam was amused. Oddly, he was also turned on again. "You won't break her. I can guarantee you won't ruin her. Baby, she just might give you a run for your money though; she is a handful. The girl has an attitude already." He flashed her a big smile. "Trina, have you ever played with a little kid?"
    "No." She pouted as she shook her head.
    "It's easier than you think. Did you ever play make believe when you were little?"
    "Well yeah, Talia was older and not interested in playing with me, and Ty was always busy playing hockey. So yeah, I played a lot of make believe, by myself." She shrugged, unsure where this was going.
    "I was scared at first too when I started to help out with Morgan. But she loves make believe. Some days she is a princess, some days we play dolls, and some days we pretend we are cooking. Some days we make a huge mess in the kitchen baking real cookies!" He moved a piece of hair out of her face. Looking into her smokey eyes, he continued. "Plus you guys have some things in common. Not only does she love to sing, but her favorite hockey player is none other than Tyler Kidd."
    That made Trina giggle. "Wait," she said, shaking her head. "You mean to tell me her favorite hockey player isn't her uncle?"
    "I'm sure I am number two on her list," he scoffed. "Look, my point is you will do fine." He became serious for a moment. "Please don't blame yourself for losing that baby. It was not your fault. Everything happens for a reason, remember that," Sam said smiling and pressed his lips against hers. "I'm sorry about what you went through, especially the baby. But I still want you to come home with me. Please?"
     
    ****
     
    His words really did comfort her. Plus, the thought of moving on without him made her stomach ache. "Are you sure Amy and Morgan will be okay with this?" she asked, concerned. After all, she was an outsider and they were a huge part of his life.
    "I'm positive." he said, grinning