West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) by Karolyn James, Claire Charlins

you want to care for
Thomas Jr. and how much you’re willing to work at everything. Last night I woke
and touched your shoulder, my Anna, while you slept. The first time a person
was in bed with me since... my wife died. The emotion overcame me and I had to
leave the room. I feared waking you as I wept because I feared you would think
I didn’t love you. But that’s not the case, my Anna. I wept because I knew the
next step had come to me. So, my Anna, I want to go to town today not just for
supplies, but to make you my bride. I want you to ride back with me as Mrs.
Thomas Calhor. So we can be husband and wife.” 
    Thomas then looked to Thomas Jr.
and smiled.
    “And we can be father and mother.”
    “Oh, Thomas,” Anna said. “That
sounds wonderful. If anything moves too fast... or you’re...”
    Thomas set his eyes to Anna’s again
with a look she would carry for the rest of her living days and beyond. The
color, the way they enamored her, controlled her, gave her the feeling that
something greater than she, Thomas, and even Thomas Jr. was suddenly became
present in the room. That God was there with them, helping them, guiding them.
    “Anna, the only thing that ever
seems to be moving too fast is time,” Thomas said. “And that we cannot control.
Which is why...”
    Anna waited to hear the rest of
Thomas’s words, picturing them on paper, feeling her heart swaying towards him
with each passing second of time. Thomas leaned forward and down, shocking Anna
as he pressed his lips to hers. If Anna had breath she would have let out a cry,
but Thomas had stolen it away. Their lips remained together and Anna allowed
herself to slip away to a place of romance that she knew never existed. She
closed her eyes and felt Thomas kiss her again. As he began to part his lips,
Anna hesitated, kissed Thomas, and pulled her head back, ending the kiss.
    Thomas lingered for a few seconds,
smiling, then nodding.
    They had a silent conversation then
and Anna had the feeling that if Thomas Jr. hadn’t been in the bedroom something
would have happened. Something out of wedlock and something that would have
carried guilt.
    Thomas touched Anna’s face. “Let’s
go get married, my Anna.”
    “Yes.”
    Thomas left the bedroom, Anna
looked at the sleeping baby and wanted to weep. For the sorrow. For the hope.
For the love. For everything leading to the moment that just occurred. Thomas’s
kiss had other implications. Thomas’s kiss had the feeling of moving to the
bed. To become together through a deeper connection, one that would be allowed
and wanted in marriage. It left Anna feeling conflicted as she exited the
bedroom.
    Part of her wanted it. She
genuinely wanted Thomas. To feel his unclothed body, to appreciate it, to share
something with him. But the other part of her knew the purpose of coming
together like that was to create life.
    That was something Anna wasn’t sure
she could do.
    Outside, once everyone boarded the
carriage, Thomas set off to town, Anna by his side and Jo with Thomas Jr. in
the back.
    “May I ask how you ended up here?”
Anna asked.
    “You may ask all you want,” Thomas
said.
    “My brother and I set off here
together. We wanted to go more west, because dare I say it, he had visions of
California to find gold and become rich. I personally wanted land. The land
will always give to us, Anna, but gold... I heard many more bad stories than good
ones. But he insisted. My journey ended here. His continued.”
    “Did he do well?” Anna asked.
    “Sadly, no. He died in an accident
his first month there. I received a letter from a man he had taken a friendship
to. A quick note that my brother had been working hard and an accident killed
him. That he was properly buried with basic directions on how to find my
brother’s grave if I ever cared to.”
    “I’m sorry for your loss,” Anna
said.
    “He died pursuing life. Can’t fault
that.” Thomas paused for a second and continued. “So I settled here and