Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops? by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper Page B

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    But all the repeat use of “chocolatey” in the world couldn’t save the Choco-Bliss. Too bad. For chocoholics, even licking Augustus Gloop after his chocolate-river bath couldn’t have tasted this good.
    X-TINCTION RATING (CHOCO-DILES): Still going strong, but only in some stores on the West Coast. You can also order some from FreshChocodiles.com .
    X-TINCTION RATING (CHOCO-BLISS): Gone for good.
    REPLACED BY: Recent years have seen the introduction of such limited-edition treats as devil’s food Twinkies, banana-filled Twinkies, Shrek Twinkies (with scary ogre-green filling), and “purplicious” Wonka Cakes. Thankfully, someone at Hostess is still letting Crazy Cousin Cletus play with the recipe book.

Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces
    P ART Billy Barty, part Lon Chaney Jr., and all creepy, Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces, has to be one of the single most terrifying toys ever created. Not only was he hairless and wee, but he was literally half a man, with his body ending at the cuff of his oddly dainty blue blouse.
    Still, the freaky, follicularly challenged Hugo was good for hours of fun, the male equivalent to the equally unsettling Barbie Styling Head.You could affix any combination of disguises with the provided glue stick—either on Hugo or on yourself. Hugo’s arsenal of prosthetics included everything from a nylon wig and glasses to a goatee and fake nose. But they all made him look like a bald, angry puppet wearing a nylon wig, glasses, goatee, and fake nose—and also exactly like James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio .

    Now-grown kids are still fretting about running into Hugo. Which would be more horrific: waking up in the middle of the night to find the bullet-headed Mini-Me perched on your chest like a cat, or the nightmarish image of Hugo dragging himself across your bedroom floor with his puppet elbows, on his way to the nest he built under your bed? There’s no real winner in either of those scenarios, so let’s just call it a tie. A horrible, horrible tie.
    X-TINCTION RATING: Gone for good.Thank God.
    REPLACED BY: Ding dong, he’s finally dead. But there is an online “Virtual Hugo,” where you can paste electronic wigs and whatnot on the freaky puppet without worrying about him trying to grab your throat with his little vinyl hands.

Ice Capades
    O NCE figure-skating Olympians have posed for a Wheaties box and put their gold medals on ice, what happens to their careers? From 1940 to 1996, there was the Ice Capades, a glorious and often completely insane bit of frozen kitsch that gave some skaters’ careers a second life and gave some kids Technicolor nightmares.
    Awe-inducing gold medalists and random community-theater types mixed in a live spectacle that was like a goony 1970s variety show on ice. Skating Ewoks! Clowns riding bikes! The Pink Panther and Snow White on blades! “Hey Kids, Meet the Snorks!” No, thank you.We’ve met the Snorks, and they don’t usually skate. Plus, they’re terrible.
    The arenas were so arctic, kids would shove the glossy, overpriced programs under their butts so they wouldn’t freeze to the bleachers. Millions endured the vaudeville-meets-frozen-water action, all the while hoping a hockey fight would break out between the ice dancers.
    The concept hit a new low with a 1989 Ice Capades ABC special hosted by Alyssa Milano and a Hogan Family –era Jason Bateman that imagined what would happen if the characters from Nintendo’s Super Mario Brothers came to life—and skated. Mr. Belvedere played King Koopa.
    Dear You Tube, thank you. Love, everybody—except Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano.
    X-TINCTION RATING: Gone for good.
    REPLACED BY: Less lavish and more serious skating exhibitions, like Stars on Ice. Ironically, the growing respectability of ice skating as a sport was more than a little responsible for Ice Capades’ demise. People wanted to see Olympians