Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops? by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper

saloon were lame, but kids could always set them aside and invite other toys over for a drink with Hal instead. What really happened the night Curious George got goofy on sarsaparilla and smashed Raggedy Andy over the head with a table? They’ll never tell.What happens in the toy box stays in the toy box.
    X-TINCTION RATING: Gone for good.
    REPLACED BY: Nowadays, toy companies are churning out collectible, limited-edition figures of some other fan-favorite directors, including George Lucas, Peter Jackson, and Bryan Singer, although they’re not exactly as kid-friendly as Needham’s.

Harlem Globetrotters
    L ARRY Bird and Magic Johnson may have inspired a generation to take to the basketball courts, but let’s see those guys challenge Meadowlark Lemon and Curly Neal in a pulling-down-the-ref’s-pants contest.Winner? Harlem Globetrotters.
    The Globetrotters have been around since 1926, blending basketball with goofy shenanigans, acrobatics, and trick shots. But sweet Georgia Brown, it was in the 1970s when they really slam-dunked their way into our childhood memory books. Kids turned out in droves when the Globetrotters mopped the court with the incompetent Washington Generals, showing off their high-flying moves and messing with the half-blind refs.
    The Globetrotters starred in multiple TV shows, but none was weirder than 1979’s Super Globetrotters cartoon. Curly Neal turned into a freak with a giant basketball for a head, Twiggy Sanders transformed into Spaghetti Man, and Sweet Lou Dunbar was able to pull a bomb, a net, or even a couple of chickens from his massive Afro—all to fight a giant gorilla, a mummy, or a super-villain who stole people’s faces. Let’s see you do that, Larry Bird.
    Then, in 1981, the team cemented its pop-culture cred in the made-for-TV movie The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island . It’s awesome enough that the Globetrotters and Gilligan met at all, but once the Trotters took on a team of hoops-playing robots, you had yourself the makings of a TV classic that was terribly entertaining—and also just plain terrible.
    X-TINCTION RATING: Still going strong.
    FUN FACT: NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain was a Globetrotter back in 1958.

Hawaiian Punch Commercials
    H ERE’S yet another lesson TV taught us: If someone asks you, “Hey, how about a nice Hawaiian Punch?” it’s a trap. You’re very likely not going to get a fruity drink, and in fact, you may get a trip to the hospital thanks to a feisty beverage mascot named Punchy.
    Punchy wore a striped shirt, no pants, and a grass hat that looked like he found it in a city dump. The first clue that he had a few anger-management issues? His hand was permanently clenched into a fist. He’d approach a doltish tourist who looked a little like a cartoon Mr. Howell, ask that fateful question, then deliver a fruit-flavored knuckle sandwich to the face. The tourist never learned, and the joke never grew old to kids who had already been long schooled in the Hertz Donut and Slug Bug school of punch-out punch lines.
    What the commercials never showed was what happened next. Our guess is that Punchy was eventually booked for battery and sent to mascot prison, along with other commercial troublemakers, like the Cavity Creeps, the Frito Bandito, and the Noid.
    X-TINCTION RATING: Revised and revived.
    REPLACED BY: Hawaiian Punch added Donny and Marie Osmond as their commercial spokespeople in 1978 (“Go Hawaiian!”), and then Punchy took an extended leave—to serve time?—while the commercials favored shots of bikinied women on sailboats. Today, Punchy’s back, and although he hasn’t hit anyone in a while, his hand is still clenched into a fist.
    FUN FACT: Punchy ran for president in 1992 with the slogan “No one else has the punch.” He didn’t win.

Honeycomb Hideout
    T HE world of retro cereal commercials was a strange, often dangerous place. Lucky the