When Reason Breaks by Cindy L. Rodriguez

there’d be no evidence.
Everything was going to be fine
.
    Why, then, didn’t she feel light as air, like she could have floated to her next class? She jammed her fingertips against her temples but couldn’t squash her headache. She told herself again and again,
Everything’s going to be fine
, hoping if she said this often enough, she would soon believe it.

Chapter 13

Letter #1
    Dear Ms. Diaz
,
    I wanted to tell you this after class yesterday, but couldn’t. I hope it’s okay for me to write to you. In person wouldn’t work. This way, I can tell you what I’m really thinking
.
    Anyway, yesterday, you asked us about where we dwell—what vehicle we use to understand the world around us. I have vehicles that help me navigate the world, but I don’t think I’m figuring anything out. I try, but lately I feel like I’m driving in circles. I ask questions, I think, I write in my journal, but I always end up with more questions. Round and round I go
.
    So, yes, I have vehicles to help me navigate the world, but I can’t make sense of it
.
    People think they have me all figured out
.
    They take one look at me and think they know me, like it’s that easy. But they have no idea. I guess we’re all clueless, even you, Ms. D
.
    Ms. Diaz photocopied the letter twice—one for her files and another for Suzanne Gilbert, Elizabeth’s guidance counselor. She put a copy of the letter into Suzanne’s mailbox, sealed in an envelope, with a note:
This was slipped under my door this morning. No name. I think it’s from Elizabeth Davis. I won’t respond—for now
.

Chapter 14

“When we have ceased to care”
OCTOBER
    Elizabeth plopped onto a plastic chair at a table in the back of the cafeteria. Tommy and Kevin were already there. Before she even opened one of the two bags of chips she bought, she asked, “Do you think teachers really care about their students, or do you think it’s an act?”
    â€œI think some care and some don’t,” said Tommy.
    â€œLike who?” asked Elizabeth.
    â€œLet’s go through the list,” Kevin suggested and bit his turkey sandwich.
    â€œHow about Ms. Diaz?” asked Elizabeth. “This morning she complimented my bangs.”
    â€œHey, nice bangs, by the way,” said Kevin.
    â€œI noticed, too,” said Tommy.
    â€œYeah, right. I cut them in July,” said Elizabeth.
    â€œSee,” said Tommy. “I can’t win. If I didn’t say anything ever, I’d be a jerk for not noticing. If I said your hair looked nice when you first cut it, you would’ve said, ‘What? Didn’t it look nice before?’ ”
    â€œRight, man?” asked Kevin. “Girls are tricky that way.” The two nodded and shook hands in a complex way.
    â€œFocus, please,” said Elizabeth. “Ms. Diaz does that every day, though. She says good morning and tries to personalize it. Haven’t you noticed?”
    â€œWhat’s wrong with that?” asked Tommy.
    â€œYeah, I think it’s kinda nice,” said Kevin.
    â€œI just wonder if it’s genuine, or if it’s something you learn in How-to-Be-a-Teacher one-oh-one.”
    â€œDoes it really matter?” asked Kevin. “I mean, who cares if she cares? She’s a teacher, not your mom.”
    Tommy kicked Kevin in the shin and shook his head.
    â€œOw!” Kevin rubbed his leg and eyed Tommy and Elizabeth. He smirked and said, “Maybe you wouldn’t care about Ms. D if you had another kind of love in your life.”
    Tommy kicked Kevin again and Elizabeth threw a chip at his face.
    â€œJeez, I don’t know why I hang out with you two, with all this abuse I take,” said Kevin. “You two aren’t easy to love, you know that?”
    Tommy snickered, but Elizabeth stared at Kevin and then lowered her gaze to the top of the table. Tommy shook his head again at Kevin,