Wild Things by Karin Kallmaker Page B

piano. Eric had helped with the structural modifications necessary to support the weight of the bar and the spa in the master suite.
    Inevitably, Eric helped me with my pool shots. Another man might have made something of the opportunities to put his arms around me from behind, positioning my hands just so, helping me sight along the cue, but I never felt flustered by his nearness. Rather I felt the same security I'd felt earlier. It was pleasant, and I accepted the comfort of it. I could go on this way with him. It would be so different than with Renee, but I would be happy. It would be so easy to be happy with him.
    Eric excused himself for a few minutes, and Sydney took her next shot. She missed and left me with a not-so-easy opportunity with the 7-ball.
    "Are you sure you want to do that? The two is a better possibility."
    I looked at the relative positions and said, "Wouldn't I have to bank the shot?" I knew I'd never make it.
    "Yes, but the cue position's not difficult. Like this."
    Just as Eric had, she came around to my side and put her arms around me from behind. Her arms weren't as long as Eric's, so her body pressed against mine. Her hands wrapped around mine on the cue and then she let go to tip my head. She sighted along the cue, her cheek to mine. When she spoke, her Breath swirled around my ear. "That should do it. Smack the cue ball sharply, but not hard."
    I drew the cue slowly back, not wanting to end the moment. Why was this feeling of Sydney next to me so different from the feeling of Eric? I felt her breasts against my side and the heat of her breath whispering past my ear, and I wanted more. After what seemed like an eternity of filling my head with the scent of her hair, I gave the cue ball what I hoped was a smack. We held our positions as it flew across the table, ricocheted, and tapped the 2-ball into the side pocket.
    "Good shot," Eric said from the doorway.
    Sydney stood up slowly saying "But of course" while I resisted the urge to leap guiltily to my feet. Fortunately, Eric came to the table to study his shot and thankfully didn't notice my blushing cheeks.
    The rest of the game was uneventful, but the damage to my self-image was irreparable. I didn't know who I was anymore, and I felt high. Renee had liked to smoke pot after sex, and it had left me blurry and the edges of my memory soft. This high was sharp and crystal clear. Everything about Sydney was a bright sparkle, and I memorized the freckle where her throat met her shoulder. Her left earlobe had an extra crinkle. When she pushed up her sweater sleeves, I took note of the light brown down on her forearms.
    We said goodnight with laughter and a promise from Eric to have Sydney over to dinner as soon as he got back from his next business trip. It was unspoken but understood that Eric's invitation came from both of us, and I knew that the evening had significantly moved Eric and me closer together in his mind.
    I had never felt so apart from him as I did when he drove me home. I felt like a fraud and didn't know what to do. He saw me to the door and kissed me lightly on the lips.
    "Do you need help moving or anything? I'm sorry I'll be gone."
    "No, I'll be fine. I really don't have that much."
    "Leave the phone number with my service as soon as you get it so I can call you." He looked down at me with a tenderness that alarmed me. "Will you miss me while I'm in Hong Kong?"
    "Yes," I said honestly. I would.
    "Good," he said, giving me another kiss. "Miss me every day, please."
    I pushed him away playfully and watched him get into his car. It would be so easy to love him. Easier if I still didn't feel the heat of Sydney's touch.
     
    5
    A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak
    — Ecclesiastes 3:7
    Sydney stared at the phone. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. She should be working, but she had found herself staring into space again, trying hard to think about nothing.
    Thinking about nothing was