Yesterday's Sins by Shirley Wine

too ill to attend their funeral.
Alex had gone in her stead.
She had put it off so often.
Emily had asked if she wanted company, but Kate refused. She'd grown very fond of Luke's mother and Kate would much prefer the other woman didn't witness to her cowardice.
She inhaled a shaky breath.
Her senses filled with the sweet, cloying smell of gardenias and lilies in the flowers she carried. It had been a mistake to buy these flowers.
Their scent that evoked memories she would prefer to forget. Their association with Alex was indelibly imprinted on her mind. They dissolved before her tear misted eyes.
Coming here was a mistake. She wasn't ready. How was anyone ever expected to be ready to say goodbye to their entire family.
"I can't do this," she muttered, turning away.
Intent on escaping this place of the dead, her flight halted when a dark suited figure barred her way. Firm hands gripped her shoulders.
She looked up into Alex's impassive face. "What are you doing here?"
"Emily was worried about you."
She wasn't surprised to see him. Mr. Carmichael informed her Alex was monitoring her movements. He was emphatic such surveillance was purely a measure to ensure her protection.
"I've changed my mind."
"It will never get any easier." The hand on her shoulder tightened. "Would it help if I came with you?"
His compassion was almost her undoing, a few tears overflowed.
This visit reinforced the knowledge that she was completely alone in the world.
Apart from Sarah, she had no one.
And as Alex had informed her, with harsh finality, Sarah Korda was no connection of hers.
While Aunt Grace and Uncle John, her father's brother, were still alive, scheming Jessica was their daughter. And this meant that relationship was fractured beyond repair.
Did she want Alex's support now?
Every crisis in her life had hinged on the actions or presence of this man. Between them was so much shared anger and sorrow. And yet, now he'd appeared to help her face this ordeal, he brought with him an undeniable sense of rightness.
"Would you mind?"
"That's why I'm here, Catriona."
He put an arm around her shoulders; giving her an encouraging smile as together they walked through the gates into the hallowed grounds of the beautifully landscaped park.
In a section beyond the overhanging pepper trees, he stopped in front of a marble headstone, shaped like the open pages of a book.
Kate had visited this gravesite often in the years after her mother's death.
"Your father is buried here beside your mother," Alex murmured, his hand on her shoulder in silent support. "He bought this double plot when she died."
"He always said he wanted that."
Alex dropped his arm, standing silent as she knelt and laid flowers at the base of the open book. She traced a finger over her parents' names, tears trickling down her cheeks.
I never want to see you again. Ever. The words, the last she'd ever said to her father were a hollow drumbeat in her mind. I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry, Daddy. "
Finally, she went to rise and Alex's hand was there, sure and steady. She leaned against him, absorbing his strength.
"You okay?" he asked softly, his hand supporting her under her elbow.
Kate looked up at him suppressing the urge to wail her grief to the heavens.   "I told him I never wanted to see him again."
Alex's harshly indrawn breath was loud in the silence. "When he rang you at Indooroopilly?"
She nodded.  
"Ah, Cat," Alex held her close and whispered, "Why?"
"I couldn't bear it." The admission tumbled out. "All my life, he was so much tougher on me than he was on Chris. That day he accused me of lying. That's why I visited you."
Alex stiffened, tension radiating from him. "Only to get the same reception from me?"
Kate shivered and moved restively, the past suddenly a living entity between them. Alex dropped his arms. She nodded, looking up at him. "You had more reason. We were strangers and I'd intruded on your grief."
That admission made him wince. "If your father didn't believe you then,