You Only Live Once by Katie Price

Polly and Andrew briefly when they both came round to the house once before we went off to a horse show, and even in that brief meeting, which was filmed for our reality series, I got a bad vibe from Pete, but thought maybe I was imagining it.
    I admit we were both jealous in our marriage. When we first got together we were so into each other, we were in each other’s pocket 24/7 and that was how we both wanted it to be. And so a few years down the line when our relationship had grown more comfortable, as all relationships do after a time, when one of us wanted to do something different, without the other person involved, it would feel odd. The fact is that riding was something I had always done, it wasn’t something new. But jealousy is a poison, a cancer, and once it starts growing out of control, it can destroy everything . . .
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    I had been learning dressage for nearly three months and to give myself a challenge, had entered a competition at Hickstead on 11 June. It was my first one and it felt like a big deal for me, especially given that I could hardly ride Jordan’s Glamour Girl when I first got her and now we were working so well together. It was made more nerve-racking for me because it was being filmed for our reality show and the paps turned up in force to photograph me as well, so I felt under added pressure. As I got ready to go on I anxiously scanned the stand, looking for Pete. My mum, brother, sister and a couple of my friends had come to support me and Pete had promised to come along as well, but there was no sign of him. I felt disappointed that he wasn’t there. It might have been only a small competition, but it was my first and so was particularly important to me. In the end he turned up after I’d finished competing because he’d got lost on the way. I couldn’t help thinking that everyone else who was close to me had managed to arrive on time.
    I came sixth out of a class of twenty-three in the competition, which I didn’t feel was at all bad given that I was so new to the sport. Afterwards the show director of Dressage at Hickstead, Dane Rawlins, told Horse and Hound that he was impressed by my performance, commenting: ‘She did a bloody good job. She didn’t hype it. She got a good round of applause. She just wanted to do it properly. Everyone was quietly impressed. She was very pleasant and friendly to everyone and has set her sights firmly on improving. She got the lines right and got to grips with it well. She’s good news for the sport, as everyone likes a touch of glamour.’ I was thrilled to receive such positive feedback. As Dane Rawlins had trained riders to Olympic level, he would know a good rider when he saw one.
    Now I was riding again I didn’t feel I needed to go out clubbing for a release. When I was with the horses, I loved it so much that it took my mind off everything else and gave me the freedom I craved. But the thing about riding is that it is all-consuming – being around horses, riding itself, being with other riders who understand your passion for horses, being out in the fresh air all day – it takes up a lot of time. I could go off riding feeling stressed or down, but by the time I’d ridden for a few hours all that stress and tension would have vanished. I would feel fantastic, exhilarated. Anyone out there who is interested in horses will know that you can happily spend all day at stables just because you love being with horses and everything that goes with them. Whenever my fame comes to an end, as it is bound to one day, my dream is to have a house where I can have stables and fields and then I will spend all day outside with the horses, along with my kids. That would be my idea of heaven.
    Just as there are football widows there’s the phenomenon of horse widowers – men who find that their wives and partners get so involved with their passion for riding that they spend hours away from home, getting up early when usually nothing except work will get