2 Maid in the Shade by Bridget Allison

thought, smiling to myself.
    “What’s with the Mona Lisa look ?”
    “I was just thinking that these panties are damned uncomfortable now but I forbid you to pull over so I can take them off.”
    “It isn’t a problem, Gretchen. I can take care of that for you in one more snap,” he smiled back.
    “ Nope, eyes straight ahead. I was smiling because I was thinking of you doing just that, then about sex in an SUV, which made me think of how tall we both are, and then how tawdry it sounds, but doesn’t really matter.”
    He decreased his speed substantially. “So... If it doesn’t matter...”
    “ Do not pull off the road!” I said my voice rising.
    “ You’re afraid you’ll be out of control?" He asked hopefully.
    “ I’m certain I will, please speed back up.”
    “ This would be such a wonderful time to run out of fuel,” he said, looking at the gauge hopefully.
    “ Thank God you didn’t say petrol” I laughed, “As I mentioned before I’m even more of a sucker for that accent. It makes everything you say a tad more interesting.”
    I reached into the side of my breeches and pulled at the intact side of the thong. No go.
    A s he turned occasionally to watch me struggle he finally grinned and said, “Seriously Gretchen, let’s pull over at least. I can take care of that easily.”
    “ And the bra even faster, unless I beat you to it,” I thought to myself. Remembering my pen knife I retrieved it from my jacket, pulling the breeches down just enough to slice through the lace.
    “ They don’t make them like they used to,” I said sadly.
    “ A fact which makes me fervently happy,” he replied, looking at the small shredded piece of turquoise on my lap as I replaced my pocket knife.
    “ Wasn’t there a matching bra?" He asked wistfully.
    “ No,” I said, “one of those utilitarian garments, nothing exciting, I pick them up at the women’s prison rummage sale.”
    “ Liar, I don’t know why I asked. The image will be etched in my brain forever. You know what’s unfair?”
    “Life in general ?”
    “ Yes, that of course, but Jethro...”
    “Jared,” I corrected.
    “Jared,” he said, rolling his eyes, “he just gets this serendipitous surprise of seeing you in your panties while you strolled around with your dog.”
    I grinned “That is ridiculous. You know it didn’t happen that way.”
    “But at the time he had known you for a month, and here I am patiently waiting, ready to nurse you to health or make love to you until you faint and he-.”
    “Oh brother,” I interrupted, “who knew you could be so manipulative?”
    “Please don’t use the word “brother” when you talk to me. Our parents were married a few months at best and we never shared a home.”
    “Sorry, a nyway I can’t very well put them back on and model them.” I held up the wad of lace ripped them in half and flung a portion in his lap before stuffing the remainder in my pocket.
    “ Not the best place in the world to fling them, love.”
    I looked over at him and now it was my eyes which widened.
    “ I’m sorry,” I said laughing, “but somehow I think that’s been there.”
    “ Nevertheless, the damage is done. Are you sure we can’t resume our picnic? We had the rest of the day and it's highly doubtful there are more bears to interrupt us.”
    N o “cubus interruptis? I’m sure, but I can also assure you Jared has never been kissed like that or touched my lingerie,” I grinned.
    S omewhat mollified, he nodded then gave a long silent pause “Wait, but you have kissed him?”
    “Only where I shot him, after I thought he was going to kill me. You know that was months ago and it was completely an apologetic kiss. More like you would give, oh, a brother” I laughed. (At least it began that way, I amended silently.)
    “And here I was hoping the shot was in the groin and you did irreparable damage.”
    I smiled. “And just so you know, I have not dated him.” (I also decided to leave out the part