A Roux of Revenge by Connie Archer Page B

would be chosen to be the Keeper.”
    “The Keeper?” Lucky asked.
    “Yes.” Miriam nodded. “The keeper of the secrets. It was considered an honor but it was a terrible burden as well. Every adult in the clan had to confess one secret to the person chosen as the Keeper. Something they had nevertold anyone else. Something that they never would tell anyone else. And the Keeper could never, upon pain of shunning, reveal those secrets. When I look back on that now, I am horrified. When or how this practice started among us, I don’t know. Perhaps it was invented as a form of confession, a method of chastisement. If someone knew a terrible secret about you, something shameful you had done,something dishonest, something you had lusted after in your heart, then you’d be forced to admit to yourself you could no longer commit that transgression. I imagine it had the effect of keeping everyone in line. The purpose of everything we did was to keep our clan together.”
    “I couldn’t even imagine being put in that position,” Lucky said. “And you’re right. What a terrible burden to bear,and to never be able to speak of it.”
    “I never intended to leave,” Miriam continued. “I fell in love . . . with Eamon. Eamon MacDougal, Janie’s father. And he with me. We were so young, but we loved each other with an intense sureness that only the young can experience when they know nothing of life. We were so certain we would be together.” Miriam took a deep breath. “But it was never tobe.
    “Our clan . . . our extended family if you will, was, simply put, a completely patriarchal society.” She looked up quickly. “I don’t mean to say that women were held prisoner, nothing like that. The women supported this structure. What else could they have possibly done? They all grew up like me; they knew no other life.” Miriam sighed deeply. “You see, I had been ‘promised’ to anotherman. My father had arranged the marriage. I begged and pleaded with him, but he had made up his mind. He didn’t know about Eamon. It wasn’t easy, but we were able to keep our involvement secret. Although, when I look back on it now, I think my father suspected, and for whatever reason he insisted I must marry another man. I was out of my mind with grief, with rage, and no amount of argument couldchange my father’s mind. He was set in his ways. He wasn’t violent, but he was . . . a throwback, you’d consider him.”
    “How awful!” Lucky tried to imagine what it would be like to have your life choices irrevocably set by another.
    “Yes.” Miriam smiled slowly. “How awful.” She was silent for several minutes. She took another deep breath and continued. “Eamon and I hatched a plan. He wasas determined and rebellious as I. We decided that if our families wouldn’t allow us to be together, we’d run away. We’d leave, and for better or worse, we’d make our way in the world. At least we would be together.” Miriam closed her eyes. “I loved him so very much. He was my life, my future path; I was sure of it.
    “When the day came, I slipped away into the woods. We were camped about ahundred miles north of here. I know that now, but I didn’t at the time. Eamon was to follow. But he never came. I waited at the spot we had agreed upon. I waited for three days. I had taken only water with me. I had no food. And after three days, I was growing weaker.”
    “Had he changed his mind?”
    “I thought so at the time. I cried bitter, bitter tears. On the last day I finally had to admitto myself that Eamon would not be joining me. Something had gone wrong. He had lied. Or he had changed his mind. I didn’t know why, but I was devastated. I was starving, half frozen during the night, and terrified as well. Eamon had abandoned me. There was no other explanation. I couldn’t go back. If he didn’t love me, there was nothing left for me. I didn’t want to live any longer and . . .I’m ashamed to admit this now, but