A Trick I Learned From Dead Men by Kitty Aldridge

the poem has muddied the waters. I text her again.
    Hey u. howdy. having fun? sorry not been in touch. total madness here! c u soon. Lee.
    The clouds are low today, everything drips from the morning’s rain. On my way back from the crem in the hearse I have a brainwave.
    Just drop me here, I tell Mikey. I can walk back. Just got to check a floral order, I tell him.
    Right you are, he says.
    I have a gander through the glass before I go in. Not a curl to be seen on my whole head. Ding goes the bell. The room is cool, empty, perfumed with the smell of flowers.
    Hello, can I help you?
    It’s not Lorelle. It’s Jan, the other one.
    Howdy, Jan. No, I was just wondering if Lorelle was about.
    You just missed her by two minutes, not even. Can I give her a message?
    No, it’s all right. Yes, OK. Just tell her Lee was passing and says, Buenos dias.
    Okey dokey. How are you spelling that?
    I prefer to walk, given the option. You miss so much in cars. There is a weeping willow by the postbox grown over the fence, a group of starlings circling over the old schoolhouse. I see the milk float parked. I often see the milkman. We had a conversation about asteroids once. I do not know his name, even though we discussed the universe at length. Change is in the air. I can feel it in my bones.
    Irene’s got the fan heater on in the office.
    Hello, Lee. What have you done with the sunshine?
    I find Derek sitting on a Winchester Mid Oak Veneer eating a bacon butty.
    Get that kettle on, son.
    I find Mikey to ask if he wants a brew. He is still sitting in the hearse in his anorak, reading the
Sun
.
    Young man, you’re a star, he says.
    I take Howard his usual coffee, one sugar, two biscuits. He is checking his tie in the mirror. He sees me in the mirror. Teethfest.
    Hello there, Lee. All right? Have you cut your hair? You look different.

12
    A dry start, with keen east or southeasterly winds, particularly on summits
    MRS GRIERSON IS nice and clean except for iodine discoloration. The wound is stitched, taped, neat and tidy. I cover her. Her belly is full, though her baby is at the hospital in his father’s arms. I rinse her hair. Lucky to have a natural shine. I pat her face dry. I don’t want drips running down. They do of course. They become Mrs Grierson’s tears. I am careful with my stitching. It is wrong to close a mother’s mouth before she has spoken her baby’s name. I stop, I step back. I try to put some distance between but the gap won’t widen. Sorry, I say. My voice dings off the metal dish. It was better before when I said nothing. Shut up, Lee. I plug in the hairdryer. I don’t switch it on. I sit down. I touch her hand. I hope she saw him. You are not supposed to touch clients unnecessarily. Or think about the circumstances of their death . You are not supposed to mull over, think on, or be maudlin. I touch her fingers. You are not supposed to hold their hand. It’s on the list of things considered inappropriate, a step too far. Lee, you have gone too far. Mrs Grierson doesn’t seem to mind. Her fingers start to warm under mine. Not to worry, Mrs Grierson, take your time. I am here.
    Miss Langley, I presume?
    I prefer to greet people my own age with a joke, puts us on a par. Miss Langley’s tray flies out on her runners just as Derek steps in.
    Evening all.
    The sky is pink over the dual carriageway, turned the pine trees black on the west side; they look like a crowd of mourners. One of them is the total spit of Howard leading on with his silver-topped cane. You can’t count on a sunset around here. As I look my phone tings.
    Hey u. crazy here 2! L8ers! L.
    Reason to be cheerful. Result. I check for hidden meaning. I read it again. Then I read it again. If it was a normal Tuesday I’d meet Raven at The Lion, but he’s on Lates this week. Just as well as it happens.
    * * *
    I put the tea on, beefburgers: a treat. I wait for Ned to come down. He likes burgers. Twelve buns, 48p. Bargain. I’ll freeze the rest. I take