Blog of a Bully by Stephen Zanzucchi Page A

nice to be home. I almost forgot how to turn this computer on. My parents had a good week, unlike me. Jessica had a good time at Aunt Edna’s. She always packs her imaginary tea set. As for our souvenirs, Jessica got a hula outfit, complete with a coconut bra. I got fireworks. This made my week of pain worth every minute. My evil mind is thinking of evil things to do. Forgive me a cruel chuckle . . . Hmmmmmmmwwwaaa.
    Do not mistake temptation for opportunity.
    But aren’t they the same thing? Hmmmmmmmwwwaa
     

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011
    8:28 p.m.
    Chuckles
     
    Yesterday on the bus ride to school, Hercules handed me the legendary teddy bear Chuckles. Donald has now slept without the thing for a few nights, and he doesn’t look well. I doubt he has slept or showered, and it’s possible he hasn’t eaten a thing for a few days. I figure I should get this prank over with before Donald goes crazy, so it’s time to turn the legendary Chuckles into the infamous Chuckles.
    In the middle of school, I took a bathroom break and didn’t go to the bathroom. Instead, I took a nice walk outside. When no one was in view, I brought down the flag from the school flag pole, and a few seconds later I raised it again. Now everyone can solute not only the stars and stripes but also Chuckles. I went back inside and spread the word to check out the flag pole after school.
    At the end of school, everyone went outside and got a good laugh, or should I say chuckle? But the icing on the cake came when Donald realized what was at the top of the pole and started screaming, “CHUCKLES, CHUCKLES!” Within seconds he was climbing the pole to get the bear. The principal was yelling at him to get down, but Donald didn’t stop climbing—or crying—until he had safely returned the bear to the ground. Everyone just laughed and laughed as the poor boy ran home clutching the bear in his arms.
     
    I can only imagine that right now he is home snuggling with his teddy, happy to have him home again. What a big baby.
    Only love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way.
    Must be true. I don’t know what that bear sees in Donald.
     

Friday, March 25th, 2011
    4:25 p.m.
    Another Victory
     
    All of my readers who are tired of reading long entries will be happy to see that this is a short entry. I haven’t seen Donald at all this week. After the incident, I can only assume that he’s on his vacation with that bear.
    Now for the news that I am most happy about: I am proud to announce that my pupils are passing all of their classes with Bs. That is so much better than the Ds they were getting before. My little cup of joy is overflowing. A single tear has come to my eye. My babies are all grown up and leaving my tutoring nest. They no longer need to hold mom’s hand to cross the street. Everybody, tonight we dine on cheese and crackers. Please celebrate with me!
    A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.
    I will accept the sign and offer cheese and crackers in return.
     

Monday, March 28th, 2011
    6:10 p.m.
    Sweet Revenge, Not for Me
     
    School was good. Buzz is becoming quite the gentlemen without my help. Today he noticed a teacher was struggling to get stuff out of her car, and without being told or asked, he ran to her rescue. Later on in the day, Buzz ran into the principal and asked him if it would be OK if Buzz and I organized a school car wash on a weekend to raise money for future school functions. I knew very well he was thinking about the school dance at the end of April. The principal was shocked and gave us permission along with full access to any supplies we need, like a hose and poster board for advertising.
    During lunch, Buzz was taking this whole thing serious. He went around with a clipboard asking kids if they could show up to help with the car wash. He wanted to know what day and time they would dedicate their efforts to helping the school. Angela said she could spend a whole day out there with us, but I have the