Blog of a Bully by Stephen Zanzucchi Page B

feeling that her parents will find something else for her to do.
    When school ended, the freak show began. I went to get my bike and saw that it had been egged! I have never seen an egg job like this before. My bike was soaking with egg whites and yokes. Taking a closer look, I realized that it was even hit with hard-boiled eggs. But that wasn’t the worst of it. There were scrambled eggs, poached eggs, eggs Benedict, green eggs and ham, scrambled eggs with onions, and egg salad. Omelets had been thrown through the spokes, and to top things off, my favorite—a sunny-side-up egg—was waiting for me on my seat. So, not only was my bike egged, but someone had taken the time to cook the eggs with seasoning and everything. I didn’t know if I should be mad or if I should ask someone to pass the salt. I know one thing is for sure: I am not going to sit on that sunny-side-up egg.
     
    I walked my bike home. I don’t know what to think about all this. The culprit has such an amazing, unique style of pulling pranks that I don’t even want to fight back. I want to see what else he will do because it’s fascinating. But the person did egg my bike, and he shouldn’t get away with that. I have to do something. It’s a pride thing that all guys have in them from birth. Give me your suggestions; I am dying to hear them.
    You find beauty in ordinary things; do not lose this ability.
    I’m sorry, cookie, but you are wrong. There is nothing ordinary about a bike getting egged with cooked and seasoned food.

April
     
     
    Friday, April 1st, 2011
    7:29 p.m.
    Tim + Mrs. Logan
     
    Tim, Tim, Tim, don’t you realize that if you have something you don’t want anyone to ever see, don’t carry it around in your backpack? I was able to swipe those playing cards of his. You know, the ones with his face on all the kings and Mrs. Logan’s face on all the queens. I jacked them. Then, during class I took another bathroom break. This time I brought a marker and tape. I went to four different bathrooms, and on each of the mirrors I taped a king and queen side by side. Then I drew a big heart, and underneath I wrote “Tim + Mrs. Logan.”
    Tim quickly became the talk of the school. Tim was teased by everyone. Even the janitor had a good laugh, and when the principal told the janitor to clean off the mirrors, the janitor claimed he couldn’t get it off, even though that wasn’t true. Tim was brought in for questioning, and then later it was announced that if anyone knew who put the cards on the mirrors, they should inform the office staff at once.
    As for your comments, I loved them, as usual. One person suggested putting stink bombs in Donald’s and Tim’s backpacks. Love it, but I don’t have any stink bombs . . . yet.
    Another person suggested I get some clear superglue and seal their lockers shut. That’s a good one, but I am too chicken to try that. I think the janitor would be out to get me after pulling that trick.
    Our number one winner this week is the person who told me to pour chocolate pudding in Donald’s and Tim’s gym shoes. What a great idea—and easy to do. It’s the perfect recipe if you are lacking some of that good old chocolate goodness in your life. And there is milk in chocolate pudding—hey, it does your body good.
    I’m not sure yet if I will use any of these suggestions, but you have definitely put my evil brain into action. With my brain and your comments, I feel we are unstoppable. Let us rule the world together. Hmmmmmmmwwwaaa. (I couldn’t resist.)
    A thrilling time is in your immediate future.
    I’m ready. Beam me a thrill Scotty.
     

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011
    11:47 a.m.
    Car Wash
     
    Last time I wrote was Friday night. After typing my entry, I watched a little TV and then went to bed. Well, around two in the morning, I was woken up by Jacob, who was standing right above me, dripping cold water on my head. How did he get in the house? I got up, and we went outside, where Buzz was waiting for us. Buzz