Blue Saturn by Libby Jay Page B

slide it across to Mike.
    “Your name is long,” he says as he begins to trace.
    “How many letters does it have it in?” I ask.
    He begins to count them out. “One...two...three...four...five...six...seven. It has seven letters. And mine has one...two...three...four. Just four.” He goes back to tracing my name.
    To my left I see movement. It’s unexpected because it’s early, just after nine and Mike had a show last night and he never shows his face before midday after a performance. But as I turn my head, Mike is standing not too far behind us.
    “Good morning,” I say.
    “Hi.” He walks toward the table and sits down at the far end. “Is he...can he...is he smart?”
    His question catches me off guard. “He’s very bright for a four year old. He learns quickly,” I say. When Mike doesn’t say anything, I continue. “He’s very good with his hands. He holds the pencil well. Not many four years olds have that sort of control.” I look down to Mikey’s hand, grasping the crayon. Most four year olds I’ve come into contact with hold the pencil either in a fist grip or use four fingers to grasp. Mikey has a perfect three finger grasp and controls the pencil very well.
    “You should get him piano lessons,” I say.
    Mike scoffs. “He’ll learn to play guitar.”
    I laugh. “Of course he will.” I shake my head at my own absentmindedness.
    Mike shifts in his seat. “I was thinking if you wanted to take Mikey out today, I’d be okay with you doing that.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes. You’ve had a rough time since we got here. You should get out, see a bit of the town.” He stands up from his chair and walks toward the kitchen.
    “Thank you Mike. I really appreciate it.”
    I don’t waste any time. I pack up the pencils and paper from the table and quickly run up to the bedrooms to grab our jackets. I change my top, brush my hair and apply a bit of lip gloss.
    When I come back into the living room, Mike and Mikey are sitting on the floor singing.
    “Down came the rain and washed poor Indsy out.” Mikey is showing Mike the hand actions. “Out came the sunshine and dried up all the rain. So the Indsy Indsy spider climbed up the spout again.”
    When the song finishes Mikey smiles. Mike stares at his son as though he’s seeing him for the first time. “You look just like your mum,” Mike says.
    “She had black hair like me.”
    “She did.”
    “But it was long, like Indsy’s.”
    Mike nods.
    “My mum died because she was very sad,” Mikey says.
    Mike is still nodding, only now, his eyes have shifted to the small space between him and Mikey.
    “I tried to make her happy, but she cried all the time.” Mikey looks down too. “My mummy is asleep now. But I think Indsy is going to be my new mum.”
    I bite on my lower lip to stop a noise from escaping me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in through my nose.
    “Mike?” Mikey asks, his eyes lifting to look at Mike.
    “Yeah, little man.”
    “Will you be my daddy?”
    My heart breaks. Mikey has no idea that Mike is his father. And suddenly I feel like I shouldn’t be watching this private interchange. But at the same time, I am very interested to hear what Mike’s response is going to be.
    He nods his head and smiles. “Yes. I will be your dad.”
    Mikey smiles and sits up on his knees. “And Indsy will be my mum.”
    Mike laughs. “Lyndsay will be our friend. But she can’t be your mum because you can only have one mum.”
    “Oh.” Mikey falls back onto his bottom. “But you’ll still be my dad?”
    “Absolutely.”
    “Okay.” Mikey stands up and walks towards his toys in the corner. And just like that, I’ve been demoted from mother to friend.
    But at least now, he has a father.
     
    I’m tying Mikey’s shoes when Mike comes into the living room. He’s wearing a black baseball cap and sunglasses.
    “I was thinking I might join you for a few hours, if that’s okay?”
    When Mike saw me getting ready to leave, he