Beset with Worries
I must be a Born Worrier.
Donât get me wrong â I can go for ages without a care in the world, but there are times when Iâm simply
beset
with worries. And last summer was one of those times.
âBeset with worriesâ, by the way, is an expression I got from my best friend Kylie Teasdale. Kylieâs dead set on being a writer when she grows up, and she has this little notebook where she writes down good words and phrases.
She let me look at it once, and I found âbeset with worriesâ on the âBâ page, underneath âbravadoâ and âbucolicâ.
There were three worries besetting me last summer. The first one, which had a Worry Factor of 10, was the family business, Farooqâs Fruits.
The second one, with a Worry Factor of 8.5, was Auntie Shabnam from Lahore.
The third one, which only had a Worry Factor of 4, making it more of an Annoyance than a Worry, was Kylieâs Russian Dwarf hamsters.
Of all the Worries, Farooqâs Fruits was far and away the worst. It was the Mother Of All Worries.
It began one night, when I tiptoed downstairs for a glass of water and heard Mum and Dad talking in the living room. Something about their voices made me stop and listen.
They were talking about the shop, and they were using words like ârecessionâ and âfalling profit marginsâ. Dad kept sighing, and Mum kept saying she was sure it would be all right, in a voice that clearly meant she wasnât.
By this time my ear was almost bonded to the living room door, so when Dad gave his biggest sigh yet and said, âAnd then thereâs the business of the health and safety inspection . . .â I heard every word, clear as a bell.
I didnât entirely understand what ârecessionâ and âfalling profit marginsâ were, but I knew they were
not
good news, and I understood perfectly how serious a failed health and safety inspection was. The next day, though, when I asked Mum and Dad if anything was wrong, they just smiled and said of
course
not.
They couldnât fool me, though. Not for a minute. And when I asked Kylie what ârecessionâ meant, and she told me it was âa period of general economic declineâ, I felt absolutely sick.
So that was the First Worry, and it was, as I discovered at breakfast the next morning, the direct cause of the Second Worry.
âAuntie Shabnam is coming to stay for a while,â Dad announced. âAll the way from Lahore. Exciting, isnât it?â
We were all sitting round the table. Nani was eating soggy Weetabix and Bilal, who had just cut his second tooth, was gnawing the handle of his mug.
The news completely floored us. For a while, no one spoke.
âAuntie Shabnam has agreed to help boost the business,â Dad went on. âGive us advice, and so forth.â
âVery sharp, my sister is,â Mum put in. âBrimful of business acumen.â
I turned to ask Nani what âbusiness acumenâ was, but she was glaring down into her spoonful of mushy cereal as though it contained all the sins of the world. I decided I could wait.
Dad cleared his throat and looked directly at me.
âYour mum and I have decided, Yosser,â he said, âthat Auntie Shabnam would be most comfortable in Naniâs room. Weâre going to convert it into an executive office for her.â
A sound like a small, wet, explosion came from Naniâs direction. Dad ignored it.
âSo Nani will move in with you,â he went on.
I swear I heard my stomach go
splat!
as it hit the kitchen floor.
âItâs only for a short while,â Dad added, apologetically.
âAnd itâll give us a chance to give Naniâs room a nice, fresh lick of paint,â Mum said, very brightly. âAnd declutter it.â
At the word âdeclutterâ, Naniâs nostrils flared. She glowered over at Dad, then at Mum, then finally at me.
I glowered