Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris Page A

fellowship have to be guarded from abuse. We should never use spiritual activities as a way to grab for more intimacy than is appropriate for our relationship.
    One couple I know wound up in sexual sin as a result of their extended times of "prayer" in his car. Others use the facade
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    of "talking about spiritual things" to share very private details about themselves prematurely Although there's a place for confessing areas of sin to each other and asking for accountability, this should never be of a sexual nature. Our primary source of accountability should be with members of the same sex.
    Another part of guarding our hearts in fellowship involves making sure we're not trying to take God's place in each other's lives. If you're beginning to look to each other as your main source of comfort, encouragement, and courage, something is \vrong. Remind each other to find your soul's satisfaction in God alone.
    Romance
    Our discussion of romance has been left till the end intentionally. Growing in romance should take place only when friendship and fellowship are deepening.
    The essence of pure romance is pursuit-a man showing through his words and appropriate actions his care, affection, and sincere love for a woman and the woman responding in kind.
    While romance is not the first priority in courtship, it's still important. Romantic feelings and the pure nonphysical expression of those feelings are an essential part of this time in a relationship. If God is confirming the wisdom and lightness of the relationship, romantic feelings should be seen as a good thing and a gift from God. Our goal during courtship is not to stifle our feelings of affection and love, but to submit them to God and to grow in and guard them.
    Men, it's our privilege to be the initiators of romantic expression in our courtships. Throughout the relationship, it's appropriate for us to communicate "genuine affection" (Romans 12:10, nlt). Send her an e-mail during the day to let her know
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    you're thinking of her. Give her cards and write encouraging notes. Give her flowers to tell her how special she is. Romance doesn't have to be fancy or flashy. The most romantic things a man can do for a woman are the little things that let her know that she's on his mind and in his heart. And remember, these skills aren't just for courtship. If you get married, it will be your privilege to keep pursuing your wife for the rest of your life!
    Our guideline for what we do and don't do during courtship is that we never want our romantic expression to promise more commitment than we would be ready to express in words. It should grow as our confidence about marriage increases. The goal is to tell the truth about the relationship. It doesn't serve a girl if a man's romantic expression is too far ahead or too far behind.
    During the first month of his courtship with Nicole, my friend Steve was so determined to guard her heart that he forgot to show through his actions how much he really liked her-and believe me he really liked her! Steve was actually very confident that he wanted to marry Nicole, but Nicole interpreted his reserve as a lack of serious interest. This caused her to be very guarded, which in turn made it difficult for them to grow closer. Fortunately, Nicole's father and mother were providing oversight for the relationship. They saw the problem and intervened. One weekend while Nicole was out of town visiting her sister, her dad took Steve aside and told him that he needed to express his feelings more. "It would serve Nicole if you were a little more romantic," he said.
    Steve was only too happy to oblige. He felt like a kid who had just been told he needed to eat more candy! The next day when he picked Nicole up at the airport, he was waiting at the gate with a huge grin and a bouquet of flowers. Steve has since been increasing his romantic expression through his words and actions.
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    Ladies, it's appropriate for you to respond to the guy's increased romance.