Celebutards by Andrea Peyser Page B

friends around the world, maybe slap on burqas for good measure, the bad guys will simply leave us alone to a world filled with Sheryl Crow Muzak.
    In addition to Crow’s usually innocuous, occasionally pleasant, and always unchallenging music, she is best known for her romance with and engagement to Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong, which started in 2003. It didn’t seem to calm her down, however. Crow was singing at a corporate event at Cipriani’s in New York when a witness heard her loudly going on about Lance. “Lance and I this, Lance and I that,” the witness said. Then, she cruelly threw out of the building the dish washers, servers and their children, who’d gathered since early morning for a peek at their idol.
    But Armstrong broke off his engagement with Crow after she was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer in February 2006. Armstrong, himself a survivor of testicular cancer, confessed to Men’s Journal about his difficulty handling her disease. (He is also rumored to be a supporter of President Bush.) The twin crises—diagnosis of a serious disease and the end of what was supposed to be a permanent relationship—did not, as one might expect, cause Crow to retreat inward. Instead, Sheryl Crow became even more shrill, angry and more determined than ever to instruct the entire population on how to save itself.
    Past generations of celebrities were absorbed by the civil rights movement, a worthy cause. But the current crop of celebutards is so focused on global warming, an issue they approach with all the fervor and drama of a religious cult, it’s rapidly becoming farce. In their minds, the planet is being rapidly destroyed, and they have been deputized to save it. As in a post-apocalyptic movie, where the main characters can see into the future—and it’s a melted mess—the well-heeled global warming crowd will stop at nothing to force you to give up modern conveniences, paper products and fossil-burning fuels. Just don’t ask your fellow celebs to join in the sacrifice. That would be hard.
    Sheryl Crow teamed up with like-minded loon Laurie David in April 2007 to attend the White House Correspondents dinner, the annual Washington dinner party/prom. It was, by every account, a toxic combination. At the dinner, the two women, like bloodhounds seizing upon prey, spied President Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove. It soon got ugly.
    According to an account posted by the global-warming gals in the Huffington Post , Crow and David accosted Rove, and demanded that he “consider taking a fresh look at the science of global warming.”
    Crow and David tried to lecture Rove that America leads the world in global warming-causing pollution, a dubious charge to say the least. He countered that the United Sates spends more on researching the causes of climate change than any other country. The women were not getting what they wanted, which apparently was nothing less than total agreement. Or maybe blood. The confrontation then took a turn for the bizarre.
    Rove apparently said something about China being worse (far worse), and he tried to return to his seat. Crow then touched Rove’s arm so he could not escape. “Don’t touch me,” he said.
    “You can’t speak to us like that, you work for us,” Crow said she answered to this perceived insult.
    “I don’t work for you, I work for the American people,” said Rove, according to Crow and David’s account.
    Crow insists she got in the last word. “We are the American people!”
    But writing in the National Review Online , Byron York said an eyewitness’s report suggested that Crow and David were “a bit more confrontational than they portrayed themselves in their own account of the incident.”
    He wrote that immediately after being introduced to Rove by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, “David began lecturing Rove about global warming. ‘This administration has done nothing on the issue,’ she told Rove. ‘We face a