Clash of the Geeks by John Scalzi

Introduction
    Hi there. I’m Bill Schafer, the head honcho and person most likely responsible when things go wrong at Subterranean Press. For those of you unfamiliar with us, we’ve published the likes of Stephen King, Neil Gaiman, John Scalzi, Wil Wheaton—those last two names are important, here—and a whole host of other fine folks. You can find us at www.subterraneanpress.com . But this time I’m not here to pitch Subterranean to you.
    First, check out the glorious, mythology-raddled cover of this little e-chapbook. Thanks go to Wil Wheaton, John Scalzi, and (artist) Jeff Zugale for it. Add the other good folks on the cover to the mix, and you’re in for a gonzo combination of fiction, near-nonfiction (see John’s interview), epic poetry (Pat Rothfuss, what were you thinking?) and even a bit of computer geekery—all based on a simple question: What the hell is actually going on in that picture, with Scalzi as an orc and Wil on a Unicorn Pegasus Kitten? You’re about to find out.
    You may rightly wonder what brought all of these fine odd folks together, and I’m proud (I’m not entirely sure that “proud” is the best word here) to say it’s my wife, Gretchen. Six years ago she was diagnosed with lupus, an autoimmune disease that afflicts far too many people, and is far too unknown, with research underfunded. Lupus has had a profound impact on Gretchen’s and my life. She’s no longer able to work—she was a fine School Psychologist when we started dating—and our routine includes an overabundance of doctor’s appointments and tests, not to mention the toxic drugs (chemo and those used to stave off organ rejection) that she must now take on a regular basis. Couple this with overarching fatigue and pain that is regularly off the charts, and Gretchen faces a life with quiet strength and dignity that would leave many others, myself included, feeling defeated, dispirited, and demeaned. That she fights against this disease every day is only one of the reasons I’m so proud she’s chosen to share her life with me.
    This chapbook is our effort to help in the fight against lupus, to help those who endure the disease, and those who work for a cure. We’re offering this for your enjoyment without cost. But if you like it, please donate. All proceeds go to the Michigan/Indiana affiliate of the Lupus Alliance of America. We’ve made it easy by setting up a page to process your donations through Paypal. You can find it at http://unicornpegasuskitten.com . Every little bit helps.
    I’ve kept you from the chapbook proper long enough. Enjoy, and thanks for your support in the fight against lupus. 
    All my best,
    Bill Schafer
    SubPress 



The Last Unicorn (Pegasus Kitten)
Wil Wheaton
    The path was narrow and small volcanic pebbles threatened to slip his feet from beneath him at every twist and turn, throwing him down the side of the firespire mountains, but Izlac was not afraid. He was focused on his mission, the fate of his entire Scalzorc clan resting on his leathery green shoulders, and falling a thousand feet down the side of a mountain would be a welcome death, should he fail to defeat the Wee-tin he knew waited for him in the Bentclaw Pass.
    “This is your task,” his master, Rek, told him. “Mount Kryuzhire is waking, and the eggs will soon blast into the sky. Whoever leads the hatchlings away will command them, and if not us, then the vile Wee-tins will.” He spat on the ground and cursed under his breath. “We have waited many years for this hatching, and you are our Chosen rider. You are our last and best hope, my apprentice.”
    He put his giant hands on Izlac’s shoulders, and fixed him with a serious gaze. “You are our future.”
    Izlac heard a low, angry rumble, as if the mountains themselves were growling at him. He pressed himself against the uphill side and held onto a sharp outcropping until the shaking passed. A lesser warrior would be frightened, he thought, but he was not afraid. He