Daydreaming of Silent Deaths by Marina Chamberlain

C h a p t e r # 1

    I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock and the first thing I see is my awkward reflection in the mirror. I start thinking about what am I going to do when I hear my mom call me from the kitchen.
     
    “Honey, breakfast is ready!”
     
    “What a hypocrite.” I think to myself.
     
    Yesterday my mom and I had a huge fight because she complained that I was out partying too much this summer. I didn't get what was the big deal since summer was supposed to be a break from school.
     
    "Shit."
     
    It just hit me; today is the first day of my junior year. The thing is, I don't really want to go back to school. Last year was hard enough as it is with my boyfriend Allen being shot right in front of me. We hadn’t being going out for long but watching him die like that; it’s an image I’ll never get out of my head. Nobody knew I was with him. That's why I wasn't allowed to be sad in front of anyone, especially my mom. So I had to suck it up, I guess he got what he deserved. He wasn't exactly a great guy more like an addict. That same addiction killed him. End of story, I didn't allow myself to think of it as anything else. So I guess you could say that I'm not doing that well emotionally. At least no one else has the power to hurt me anymore since I don't even have friends.
     
    Without thinking about it more I got out of bed, brushed my teeth and picked out the first thing I found from my closet. I didn't want to bring more attention to myself as it is so I just wore some blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. I got my blonde hair up in a ponytail and put on a black headband. After I was ready I went downstairs.
     
    As I entered the kitchen, I saw my brother sitting down in front of a plate with half eaten burritos. Gross. Next to him there was a plate with some eggs and toast that I guess were meant for me. I shrug because I don’t like eggs and head for the door. I’m already halfway there when I hear him say:
     
    "And the bitch is awake, good for you Aurora. So exactly how hung-over are you?"
     
    "I’m not and don't call me that Jake."
     
    "Don’t call you what? Bitch?"
     
    "Aurora"
     
    "Oh right, I forgot you went by... What was it again?"
     
    "Kate, my name is Kate."
     
    "Your middle name is Kate, your name is Aurora."
     
    "Whatever asshole."
     
    "Aurora, language." My mom said as she went down the stairs.
     
    "Don’t call me that!" I screamed, annoyed.
     
    "What did I do now?"
     
    I could tell she was absolutely clueless so I just scoffed and left out the door. Clearly she hasn't been paying attention to what I say since I've already told her a bunch of times I want to legally get my name changed to Kate. Aurora is overrated and it doesn’t fit my personality at all. Of course why would she listen to boring old me when she has her brand new boy toy to make out with on the couch? Simon is incredibly boring; I don’t know how she lives with him. I mean how needy can a woman get?  
     
    It’s been like this ever since I can remember. Actually no, it’s been like this ever since my dad disappeared. At first my mom looked for him, thought maybe something had happened but as time passed she stopped. Although I know part of her is holding on to the hope that he’ll come back one day with an apology and a justified reason to why he’s been gone all these years. The excuse better have something to do with being abducted by aliens or he can go kiss my ass. Jake thinks he just went off with some hot younger version of mom and started another family. He’s probably right though that doesn’t make him any less an ass as my dad. Him leaving really fucked Jake up though. He’s four years older than me so I guess that’s why. I don’t even remember my dad that much. I just know he didn’t seem like the type of person that would just leave their family without warning. Then again people aren’t always as great as you make them out to be and I was only five. I did used to wonder where he had