Diary of a Dieter by Marie Coulson

clipped my shoe on a protruding piece of concrete. The heel, naturally, shattered into pieces, and I was left hobbling for the rest of the evening. Teetering and tottering across the street toward our hotel, I was forced to grip Adam’s arm for support.
    He had obviously realised the pain I was in because as we approached the harbour, yes, man-made harbour for theme purposes, he suggested we have a little rest.
    Dangling my legs over the edge of the jetty, I moaned loudly as I pulled off my one remaining slipper. My feet throbbed. And not that little ache you get after dancing in stilettoes all night—oh no. I’m talking pulsating, red hot, walked over hot coals kind of pain! If I had dipped a toe in the water it would have sizzled like a steak into a hot pan.
    Adam chuckled beside me. “Well, this is certainly an interesting evening.”
    I gave him a puzzled and slightly irritated look. I found nothing interesting about it at all. I was in perky, colourful hell!
    “Well, first you lose your glass slipper, Cinders. Dana has been hounded all evening by quite possibly the tiniest twenty-three year old I have ever seen. I mean, under four foot, does he count as a dwarf or a midget? And then there’s Vanessa. Drinking like a fish, dressed like one, and now totally legless and swimming around in the giant fountain. Proper fish out of water, that girl.”
    I turned around and caught sight of my red wig-wearing friend splashing around in the large and elegant water fountain. Apparently, she had sat down to remove her flippers and had fallen backward in to the damn thing. It wasn’t that she was swimming as such, but more that she just couldn’t get back up again. As long as her head was above water, I wasn’t concerned. Dana, on the other hand, was trying to wish little Gareth good night, but he insisted on walking her to the hotel. He was a little full on, and the last straw had come while we were sipping cocktails in a tiki-themed bar. Leaning across the table, one hand in hers while the other tried casually to slide up her yellow, puffy, nylon dress, he professed his undying lust for her! The air was blue with the filthy things that horny little dwarf wanted to do to my friend. It took all my strength not to punch him and all of Ness’s to stop Adam from doing it. Dana merely blushed, shook her head and said, “That all sounds … different, but I think I’ll pass.” But he clearly saw this as a challenge. Poor Dana never stood a chance. He followed us to every bar we went to and tried endlessly to serenade her.
    Holding my head in my hands, I groaned. “This is a nightmare. When did my life come to this? I mean, where did I go wrong?”
    Draping an arm around my shoulder, Adam shrugged.
    “I don’t think it was you who did anything wrong, Charlie. It was that arse-hat Brad. You were way out of his league. There’s punching above your weight, and then there’s bringing a ping-pong racket to a boxing match. You know you’re likely to get it shoved up your arse.”
    I giggled a little at the thought. “Yeah, well, I still said yes when he proposed. I thought I knew him. I thought he loved me and that we’d spend the rest of our lives together, but it turns out I was just a wench to cook, clean, and wait for him to come home while he fucked his entire office. And here I am. Sitting in a fake harbour, in a ridiculous dress, minus one shoe, looking like the world’s worst princess and what’s more, totally prince-less.”
    “You just feel bad now . It will pass. But you have to admit; wallowing in your apartment for two weeks wasn’t the smartest move to help you get through this. I mean, did you even see in the New Year?”
    I nodded. “Of course I did. Lying on the sofa, cat beside me for company, and a mini heart attack in the form of my meal of a burger and fries. I passed out right before the bell struck the final time on midnight.”
    Adam rolled his eyes. “Pitiful. You really are determined to let him