Every Tongue Got to Confess by Zora Neale Hurston

me.”
    He zipped off an’ knocked down two or three lights an’ fell intuh uh row uh dem vases an’ knocked ’em all down an’ skidded right upon de throne befo’ he could git straight. God didn’t say nothin’. He just looked at him. But Gabull knowed what to do. He come over tuh ’im an’ snatched off his wings an’ set ’im down so hard till it almost bust his robe, an’ tole ’im: “Now, you set dere till I tell yuh to move, an’ you ain’t gointuh git no mo’ wings neither.”
    His friends say, “Unhunh! We tole you you wuz gointuh keep on till you break somethin’. Now look at yuh. Ain’t got no wings. Everybody got wings but you.”
    “Oh, I don’t keer,” he says, “but I sho wuz uh flyin’ fool when I had ’em.”
    —C LIFFERT U LMER .
     
    When all the prophets died and all of them went to heaven and they all got wings, one day one of the angels opened the door and let Simon Peter and all the rest out and told them to be back at two o’clock. All of the rest of the prophets came back at two o’clock except Simon Peter. At three o’clock Simon Peter came back and knocked at the door of heaven. The doorkeeper asked who it was. Simon Peter said, “Simon Peter.” The doorkeeper told him that he couldn’t come in and asked him where had he been. Simon Peter told him that he had been flying around. The doorkeeper asked himthen why didn’t he come back with the others and told him that he had come too late and couldn’t get in.
    Simon Peter said, “I forgot what time to come back and I don’t care if you don’t let me in for I was a flying fool when I was in there.”
    —E D M ORRIS.
     
    Once a stingy man died and went up to heaven. When he got to the gates Peter ast him whut good had he ever done. He thought awhile then he says: “One time I saw a little girl crying and I ast her whut’s de matter, and she says I lost my neckel, so I give her three cents and went on.”
    Peter says, “John, look on de books and see if that’s on dere.”
    John looked and says, “Yes, he done it.”
    Peter says, “Is dat all de good ye ever done?”
    Says, “No, another time I seen a little boy crying and I ast him whut wuz de matter, and he said I lost my nickel, so I give him two cents and went on.”
    “John, see if that’s dere.” So it was.
    “So dat all you ever done good?” So he said yes.
    John says, “Is you goin’ let him in, Peter?”
    Peter thought a while, “No, give him his damn nickel back and let him gwan to hell.”
    —C HRISTOPHER J ENKINS.
     
    Said there wuz a white man had a girl and she died, but he told her he would meet her in heaven. So after a while he went on up, but he couldn’t git in.
    Said there was a nigger up there flying around outside of heaven trying out his wings. So he met the white fellow. Tole the nigger boy, says, “Here’s some dice. Let’s shoot some for a dollar.”
    So the boy says he didn’t have no dollar. White man says he’ll shoot each wing for fifty cents. So he won the first fifty cents; sohe decided to shoot again, so he lost that one, too. So he says, “Guess I’ll try my wings again,” so he throwed twelve. So he says, “Didn’t I win?” and the white fellow says, “No, you know damn well you crapped.” So de poor boy lost—that’s all of that.
    —C HRISTOPHER J ENKINS.
     
    You know, when folks die an’ go up tuh heben, they has tuh keer long uh piece uh crayon an’ God got uh great big blackboard an’ He makes you go tuh de blackboard while John reads off yo’ sins out de Big Book, an’ you has tuh write ’em down. Den God looks over ’em an’ if they ain’t many an’ ain’t too bad, He lets yuh stay in heben. If not, you get sent on tuh hell.
    Well, my uncle died ’bout twenty years ago an’ went on up. He wuz uh big preacher an’ everybody said he sho wuz gointer git uh good seat on de right hand side, right up tuh de throne. But last week somebody died an’ went up an’ met my uncle on de way