G'Day to Die by Maddy Hunter

mass-produce it, he’ll be able to retire, then I can stop frittin’ about the ones that go missin’.”
    I waited a beat. “The pists go missing?”
    “All the time.”
    “But…aren’t his pists poisonous?”
    “’Course they’re poisonous. He don’t want thim if they’re not. But the little containers he has for thim don’t seal like they should because Mr. Pooh For Brains buys the cheap ones.” She grabbed her head with both hands. “Why do you think I had that argy bargy with him last night? The fool lit the ridback he found yisterday escape and he niveh bothered to till anyone on the bus. I keep pounding it into his hid, when you lose the didly bugs, you gotta do the courteous thing and till people.”
    I’d never suffered a panic attack before, but my sudden inability to breathe reminded me there was a first time for everything. “Jake was carrying a poisonous spider around with him yesterday?”
    “Not all day. He says the buggeh wint missing sometime after lunch.” Lola knuckled her fist on her hip, the Ann Landers of Aussie advice. “Don’t pay no mind to anything Jake ever tills you. Like I say, he likes to give blokes a fright. Ridbacks are more scared of you than you are of thim.”
    “Wanna bet?”
    “They’re not gonna bite you unliss you git your fingahs tangled in their wibs.”
    I swiped a hand down my arms, chasing away phantom sensations that felt suspiciously like spiders. “What if he finds more redbacks today? Is he going to take them on the bus with him?”
    Lola’s glossy red mouth pinched in irritation. “He can’t very will mail thim back to Murwillumbah, can he? The postal authority has real pain-in-the-arse rules about sindin’ didly critters through the mail.”
    “Well, he can’t take them on the bus. What if another one escapes?”
    “I told you! They’re not gonna hurt anyone!”
    “Tell that to Claire Bellows!”
    She reacted as if she’d just been sucker-punched. Taking a step back from me, she locked her arms beneath her eye-popping bosom and glared at me, a look that would have been truly frightening if her cleavage hadn’t migrated to her chin. “Are you accusin’ Jake of killin’ that woman?”
    “He let a deadly spider escape! How do you know she didn’t die as a result? He told us himself a redback might have killed her; he just never said he was the one who let it loose!”
    She paused a half second to study me, shrewdness creeping into her eyes. “If this is the thanks I git for hilpin’ you out of a jam, you’ll be on your own nixt time.”
    “You can’t let Jake take any more insects onto the bus.”
    “And who’s gonna stop ’im? You?”
    “Henry will stop him. I bet he won’t appreciate learning that one of his passengers—”
    Lola’s forefinger catapulted into my face. “You breathe one word of this to Hinry, and it could be the last word you ever breathe. Jake don’t like people rattin’ on him. No tillin’ what he might do if someone spills the beans. He can be so unpredictable. Like I told you, a picnic short of a sandwich.” She looked me up and down as if she’d like to squish me. “See you ’round.” She stormed off down the footpath, her wilderness boots clacking like the whole Russian army.
    Yup. I guess you could say she was a little passive-aggressive.

Chapter 6
    B y the time I caught up with the group, they were leaving the wooded area that surrounded the Tasmanian devil pen and heading toward a glade teeming with kangaroos and ducks.
    “The chain-link cage up ahid isn’t a batters’ cage,” Graham announced. “It’s where we house our widge-tailed eagles, which are found everywhere in Australia, can fly for ninety minutes at a time, and often soar to altitudes of two thousand meters, which is more than a mile straight up. Their wingspans can reach two-point-five meters, which is over eight feet. Their most noteworthy characteristic—”
    I grabbed Nana’s arm and pulled her out of the crowd.