Good Ogre by Platte F. Clark

humans here, so be gone.”
    Max didn’t like the sound of that.
    â€œI think we should turn around,” Wayne suggested.
    Melvin picked up his bow and began yelling at the squirrel. “By all rights you’ve drawn first blood! I tried to honor you with my elf customs and you attacked me!”
    It took a moment for the others to notice that Melvin now had a Hello Kitty Band-Aid on his forehead.
    Megan shrugged. “It’s all I could find.”
    â€œEnough!” the squirrel knight squeaked. “You have been warned. To arms!” Suddenly dozens of armored squirrels sprang from hiding places in the rocks and formed into ranks. But more worrying to Max was the movement in the distance. Even through the grass he could see thousands of tiny reflections like the ocean at sunset. Tens of thousands of armored squirrels marched in the field! And they were rolling hundreds of tiny trebuchets into position, no doubt loaded with nuts.
    Max slipped his hand inside his satchel and found the Codex of Infinite Knowability .
    â€œDon’t even think about it, wizard!” the lead ­squirrel threatened, pointing at Max with his drawn sword. Max wondered how the squirrel knew him, then realized what he was wearing. “We’ll swarm and cut you to pieces before you get to whatever magic you keep in your bag.”
    Max could feel Wayne growing tense next to him. Things were quickly getting out of hand. He remembered reading something in the Codex about squirrels taking over the world . . . was this how it happened? Had he inadvertently started the squirrelpocalypse?
    â€œEasy, everyone,” Sarah said in a low voice. “There’s too many of them.”
    â€œMaybe we should make a slow retreat,” Puff suggested. “Nice and easy, like.”
    â€œI think that’s a good idea,” Dwight confirmed. “Although if my kin ever hear I retreated from a squirrel . . .”
    â€œThere will be no going back!” the squirrel knight exclaimed. Behind them the trail filled up with more of the tiny knights. “You are surrounded.”
    â€œMax . . . ?” Sarah urged. Max knew what she was suggesting—he could use the Codex without reading it. He let his mind drift to the magical book at his side. He reached for a Prime Spell. As he saw it, the problem wasn’t about coming up with a way to defeat an entire army of squirrels so much as it was about making an escape. He could feel the sweat break out on his forehead as he pushed into the Codex , sensing the surge of the spells as they began to fill his mind.
    Suddenly a musical chord filled the air.
    Max lost his concentration and the Prime Spells retreated. All eyes turned to Dirk as he repositioned his lute.
    â€œUh, Dirk . . . ?” Sarah asked.
    The squirrels advanced, moving with a perfectlytimed step that made thousands of tiny boots sound like the advance of a single, armored giant. And then, to everyone’s surprise, Dirk strummed another chord and began singing.
    Come gather ye heroes
    And I’ll sing you a tale,
    â€™Bout an adventuring elf
    Named Melvin the Frail . . .
    â€œHey!” Melvin shouted, not liking where this was going. But Dirk ignored him and began singing and playing even louder. The squirrels stopped—thousands of rodent eyes turned their attention to the strange musical human.
    He crossed paths with a squirrel
    Who told him what’s what,
    But Melvin was bested
    By a tiny walnut!
    Then Dirk began to dance as Glenn joined in and the two of them belted out the chorus together:
    A tiny walnut! A tiny walnut!
    The elf had a lump
    From a tiny walnut!
    â€œHey, that’s not exactly true!” Melvin cried out, his hand drifting unconsciously to his Band-Aided forehead.
    â€œDirk!” Sarah shouted, and the music stopped at once. “Seriously?”
    â€œI couldn’t help it,” Dirk replied.
    â€œI should save the entire elf army the trouble and